Can You Love More Than One Person?

[Voobrazheniye]

Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?

About 25 years ago, I was madly in love with a woman. But there were complications. After I was full in, she divulged that the boyfriend who was "no big deal" and with whom she "was going to break up" was the same person as her male roommate. I had two platonic female roommates at the time, so that wasn't a big deal - until the revelation that they weren't platonic.

Of course, she told me that she loved me and just needed time to work her way out of the other situation. But as time went by, she didn't seem able to do that. Eventually, she told me - in high distress - that she loved both of us and couldn't make a choice. She was very adamant that she did, in fact, really love both people.

I was equally adamant that this wasn't possible. I told her that you either love someone - exclusively - or you don't. End of story. And I said that her "I love both" claims were just an excuse to avoid making a difficult choice. Eventually I ended it, and a few years later she married the guy.

But now I wonder about what she said.

Over the past few months, some things have happened that make me think that there may have been more to her claims than I was willing to accept at the time. But still, I'm not completely sold.

So... what do you think?

Can a person really love two people - BE IN LOVE WITH two people - at the same time? Have any of you been through such a situation... on either side?

[Gabber]

no, I don't believe so. You can have crushes on more than one but you cannot truly love more than one. imo

[yankee]

I agree with Bobby, two is impossible. For me at least.

[NewSarah]

In order to answer this question, it is necessary to be able to distinguish between love (your existance makes me happy and I wish you happiness) and lust (I want you and I want to own you). Then the answer is obvious.

[jimsan]

Yes, it can be so.

[huney]

I can't imagine having that sort of love for two people at the same time. Are you sure you aren't confusing love with a combination of fondness and lust?

Granted, the combination can seem very much like love. But would you forfeit your life for them; would you choose to spend the rest of your life - all eternity - with either?

For me, therein lies the answer.

[Gabber]

so if you love two and it is time to marry...who do you marry? It is then that you find out who you love the most.

[yankee]

so if you love two and it is time to marry...who do you marry? It is then that you find out who you love the most.

Become a muslim and marry both and imigrate to Afganistan!

[Lucky]

"If you love two men, choose the second, because if you fell in love
with the second, then you never truly loved the first." ~ ♥ ~

(Unknown)

:d_martini:

[8bigwheels]

love is different. you love someone with passion, to another you have a feeling that he/sh is your family, to somebody you just get used to...passion cant last forever unfortunatly( and then if you both match your feelings become more like between family members...but what if you meet someone extremely sweet, sexy, funny and so far...person( not only body) you want so much, but you already have that someone with whom you already had all this, but its gone and you miss all this feelings...if you start an affair you will defenetly fall in love with this new person, but on the other hand ofcours you still love ( differently) another YOUR someone ( boyfriend/girlfriiend, husband/wife, mother/father of your children), with who you feel so comfy and cosy... yeah, love is different and have many levels)

[Gabber]

I feel that there are different kinds of love. One for family, one for pets and one for a lover. You can love more than one child, you can love more than one pet but the love for a lover should be unique. imo only.

[Voobrazheniye]

You can love more than one child, you can love more than one pet but the love for a lover should be unique. imo only.

Perhaps. But if I was in a "loving relationship" and Tanya came calling, I'd definitely find it in my heart for a "twofer." :blush:

[8bigwheels]

i didnt mean pets or children) i meant that f you live with lover too long he/she become more like a family to you, and you still do love her/him, but sometime theres always smth new you want( you feel like want) to discover. i live only 30 years old and tried all possible relationships, but it always end up like this...first level of love is gone, and you just feel comfy with him/she( you have lots in common...charecter, understanding, kids, business) but somehow, someday you meet that flirty,smart,cute someone who will make you feel first level of love again...temptetion,doubt..mm lots of other feelings...life is motheducking difficult thing. but its better to live it with somebody. sombody you respect, understand and feel good with) and this is latest level of love btw (imho)

[herry]

to another you have a feeling that he/sh is your family, to somebody you just get used to...if you get used to sameone the next step is to get bored with someone, which would end the relationship, because there is not much left.

[NewSarah]

. but its better to live it with somebody. sombody you respect, understand and feel good with) and this is latest level of love btw (imho)

It is amaizing you understand it at your age. People come to this conclusion too late sometimes. I wish I could understand it much earlier than now. It could save so much life aqnd energy. On the other hand, everything comes in a right time. And this right time does not come to some people at all, because they are not able to survive through the transformation. I mean, they of course survive physically, but not emotionally. To simplify it, I would say that looking at lots of different people around I can definitely say - happy marriages were always those who became the best friends. There is no compromise in their relationships, just fool trust, comfort and desire to come back home.