Lucker
10-09-2008, 04:08 PM
I think you need to know that tomorrow I celebrate one full calendar month of a river flowing through my bathroom .
It seeps out from beneath the boarded area under the sink basin but it is not caused by sink usage ---I only use it when I bathe the Elk Hound or wash my feet after walking ten miles barefoot in the sands working on mathematical conundrums .
My bath is a corner shaped and as befits my nature is raised which means that the water settles round the edges of the raised area .
This means that I have to get into the bath by galloping down the hall , loping up to it and taking off in a move similar to an Olympic vault but landing exactly in the middle of the bath, but in a good pike position in order to get full marks from the neighbours who gather outside to watch and criticise .Some of them are arse benders , I suspect .
Earlier this week , experts removed back of the building drain covers and drilled through a concrete topped gulley area where a maze of pipes meet for various purposes and from various destinations . Experts laughed and giggled as they updated all manner of past mistakes . But none of it affected the roll of the River Styx through my Bathroom .So much for their plumbing certificates and water works degrees .
The building was completed in 1830 so it possible that errant turds have been edging their way through this network for nearly 180 years .
Today I shrank myself to the size of a streamlined guinea pig and inserted myself under the sink with a torch and hammer -- who knows whom you might meet . I know the answer and tomorrow , with clues , I will allow the so called experts to finally solve the case of the drowning bathroom .
Let's hope I survive without being bitten by a rat or a Russian Frog Man trying to get at me through devious ways .
It seeps out from beneath the boarded area under the sink basin but it is not caused by sink usage ---I only use it when I bathe the Elk Hound or wash my feet after walking ten miles barefoot in the sands working on mathematical conundrums .
My bath is a corner shaped and as befits my nature is raised which means that the water settles round the edges of the raised area .
This means that I have to get into the bath by galloping down the hall , loping up to it and taking off in a move similar to an Olympic vault but landing exactly in the middle of the bath, but in a good pike position in order to get full marks from the neighbours who gather outside to watch and criticise .Some of them are arse benders , I suspect .
Earlier this week , experts removed back of the building drain covers and drilled through a concrete topped gulley area where a maze of pipes meet for various purposes and from various destinations . Experts laughed and giggled as they updated all manner of past mistakes . But none of it affected the roll of the River Styx through my Bathroom .So much for their plumbing certificates and water works degrees .
The building was completed in 1830 so it possible that errant turds have been edging their way through this network for nearly 180 years .
Today I shrank myself to the size of a streamlined guinea pig and inserted myself under the sink with a torch and hammer -- who knows whom you might meet . I know the answer and tomorrow , with clues , I will allow the so called experts to finally solve the case of the drowning bathroom .
Let's hope I survive without being bitten by a rat or a Russian Frog Man trying to get at me through devious ways .