Why Women Need to Contact Men Online

[saprosky]

At a recent holiday party, I met a single woman who came up to me asking for dating advice. She has had an on-again, off-again relationship with online dating. She was explaining to me in great detail why Internet dating doesn’t work. All of the blame was put on the men, who either didn’t write back to her after one email exchange, or just didn’t write at all.

I asked her if she considered initiating contact with men she found interesting. Her response was, “Absolutely not.” She added, “I’m old fashioned and believe the men need to pursue the women.” When I pointed out that waiting around wasn’t working for her and suggested that she send one email a day to a man she found interesting, or who viewed her profile but was too shy to contact her, she said no. That wasn’t her style. While I agree that men like to pursue women, they get tired of rejection and trying sometimes a gentle nudge, wink, or flirt is good for the male ego. She was clearly unhappy being single.


The point is she may be missing out on meeting a terrific guy who is looking for a girl just like her. Think about it. There are millions of singles online. Sometimes they may pass over your profile. Perhaps they didn’t notice you, had met their daily quota of outbound emails, or started dating someone they wanted to focus on. For whatever reason, Mr. Right doesn’t always find you online. It’s a crowded landscape.


This woman had a good enough profile, but she wasn’t taking action with her life. Sitting around waiting might result in wasting your precious youth. This may sound harsh, but sometimes tough love needs to jump in and take over. I pointed out the importance of the initial week when your profile is brand new and suggested that she initiate a simple and very short email to one gentleman daily for a week so she can get in the habit of being proactive.


After all, sometimes looking for love online is like looking for a job. Headhunters and employers don’t just find you. If you take the same attitude towards your love life, which hopefully has a longer shelf-life than a job, you may come out a winner.


By Julie Spira


Do you think the same? Women must take the action?

[Soulmate-Africa]

I think I got the same problem as her? I send lots of mails but it seems they get lost on the internet airlines because nobody answer back.:scratch_one-s_head:

[statajack]

I think I got the same problem as her? I send lots of mails but it seems they get lost on the internet airlines because nobody answer back.:scratch_one-s_head:

You have to be selective with your opening line in a message -

"Hi, my name is Bond. James Bond! :biggrin:

[Soulmate-Africa]

You have to be selective with your opening line in a message -

"Hi, my name is Bond. James Bond! :biggrin:

Now you tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always started with Hi it Tarzan here Tarzan from from Africa:biggrin:

[statajack]

Now you tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always started with Hi it Tarzan here Tarzan from from Africa:biggrin:

Hmmm, that should be just about as effective. :biggrin:

[Soulmate-Africa]

Hmmm, that should be just about as effective. :biggrin:

I wanted to use Mr Universe but it might be a little over the top for the ladies:blush::biggrin:

[statajack]

I wanted to use Mr Universe but it might be a little over the top for the ladies:blush::biggrin:

Funny you should mention it -

I was watching a cheesy TV programme over the weekend called "Take me on a date". A guy walks out onto a stage (to a great fanfare of cheesy music) which is circled by thirty women all looking for a date.

After a few rounds of the guy talking about himself in pre-made videos, the girls decide if they want to be considered for going on a date with him. If they turn their panel light off during the process then they are not interested in him.

Anyway, a good-looking bodybuilder with two academic degrees was put in front of the women this weekend, and after the second round of short introduction videos, every single woman turned her light off. This is the first time in the show that I have seen a complete blank for any guy. The programme host went round the women asking at random why none of them wanted to date the guy, and they all said that he was aesthetically too muscley, too narcissistic, and they feared for their personal safety because of his muscular size.

So, "Mr Universe" might not exactly be the right move in an introduction letter. :biggrin:

[yankee]

In all seriousness, my wife contacted me first and I know of at least one other married couple that the woman made the first contact.

[alenika]

And I read in advices of men to each other that when woman writes first this is a red flag. That REAL RUSSIAN WOMAN would never write first!
lol

[saprosky]

And I read in advices of men to each other that when woman writes first this is a red flag. That REAL RUSSIAN WOMAN would never write first!
lol


And many of them still keep single :pardon:

[Soulmate-Africa]

And I read in advices of men to each other that when woman writes first this is a red flag. That REAL RUSSIAN WOMAN would never write first!
lol

At this point I am wishing a lady would write to me first, I tried writing first but like I said the airlines seems to be faulty:scratch_one-s_head::biggrin:

[NewSarah]

When you, guys, will get married and marry and I will retire in peace and happiness?

[Gabber]

And many of them still keep single :pardon:

nothing wrong with being single. sorry, offtop

[yankee]

nothing wrong with being single. sorry, offtop

Self justification is a good mood elevator:biggrin:

[CMM7]

When you, guys, will get married and marry and I will retire in peace and happiness?

Yes Mom, but remember some of us will not marry, and you will be stuck with us forever.:Laie_95:

[NewSarah]

... forever...:Laie_95:

I hope I will not live that long...

:connie_xmas-moose::connie_xmas-moose:

[Bluebell]

And I read in advices of men to each other that when woman writes first this is a red flag. That REAL RUSSIAN WOMAN would never write first!
lol

I think ,that as everywhere, not only in Russia, all people are different. Some are shy, some are not:)
As for me, I don't see the problem writing a man first. I need a man which I like! I can't wait till I'm 100 y.o. Haha:):):):):)

[Taiss]

REAL RUSSIAN WOMAN would never write first!
lol
:superstition:last century.

Meeting people in a real life we can look at each other and even feel one's energy.
Some people who are very much sensitive can feel the energy while they are corresponding with each other.
I am keen to understand why people can't meet their halves if they are ready to meet them. I am sure God's merciful and two halves can live at the same time in our world.
So why it is such a difficult task?

Perhaps, sending a greeting massage is the only way to pay attention to yourself.
Does not matter someone can understand the words wrong in it. If the person is serious he will ask any questions to you.
Perhaps, one can't express one's thoughts clearly.
In this case one can ask somebody for helping.
Anyway I can't understand why a modern lady must behave like she lives last before last century.
One day the lady'll meet her half. Will she be wearing knickers and some ancient clothes then?
:connie_girl_cleangl:girl_haha::blush:

[Bizarre]

My husband and I registered on a dating site on the same day last year. I wrote him: Hi, how are you? He replied and we started corresponding and chatting on phone. In a couple of months we met in Moscow and decided to be together. We got married on the same day in a year after I first wrote him those 4 words. We ouselves build our happiness.