Which do you prefer paying for online dating services or using the free ones?

[saprosky]

One of the reasons free online dating sites are so popular is that paid sites sound like a ripoff. Who wants to shell out hundreds of dollars to meet the love of their life when other sites offer the same services for free?

Last spring, OkCupid argued that people should never pay for online dating because there aren't enough people willing to pay a fee for dating services. Since fewer people means fewer matches, online daters should stick to free sites that may have a larger base of active users.

Although OkCupid are right in that people hate paying for websites, others argue that those on paid dating sites will take the service more seriously in order to make the most of their financial investment. The Big Think cites a study published in Current Psychology that tested this idea on a group of undergraduates last year.

Researchers gathered a group of 145 participants (86 female and 59 male), and asked them to simulate signing up and paying for an online dating site upfront. Afterward, participants were told that the website had found a match, but the person was missing a couple of preferred qualities. Then, researchers informed them that a friend was offering to arrange a blind date with someone who sounded like their perfect match. Participants had to go on dates with both matches, but were given an hour to split between them.

Now, we'd think that any sane person would devote 50 minutes to the superior match and 10 minutes to the inferior one, just to scope that person out. Researchers, however, found that the time people gave to the inferior match depended on how much the dating site cost. People who had paid very little, if anything, for the dating site readily committed their time to the blind date. For instance, men who had paid $50 upfront spent 49 minutes on the online date, while those who paid nothing spent only 28 minutes on that same date.

By extension, people who pay for online dating services are more likely to contact matches more selectively, which means that on paid sites, you'll probably receive a lot less spam and inane one-line messages. At the same time, the study does not measure what people consider an investment. Money is an obvious one, but what about time? People who use free sites may spend so much time completing the quizzes, filling out the profile, and doing surveys that they'll end up seeing those hours as a commitment. Time is money, after all.


Which do you prefer paying for online dating services or using the free ones? How have the results of this study applied to your own experiences with online dating?

[saprosky]

Free sites are used for scammers and you cant't trust in nobody.

A payment site doesnt means cant have scammers but at least you can complain if you find them.

Anyway, a payment site should have scammers filters to avoid them and check that the women there are real and not fakes.

[NewSarah]

I personally would not register at any of the dating sites, but logically - such sites should be paid for both - men and women. May be it will make people be more responsible for what they do and what they are looking for. Though it is not the remedy, too.

[NewSarah]

The story has nothing to do with the dating sites, but let me tell it to you... Sit down, and feel comfortable.
A lady I knew long time ago, married a gentleman, who worked with her, and they moved to his country. They were both 50+ at that time. They both had many problems in their previous lives, and they appreciated the type of tender relationship they managed to build. The lady had a sister in the country of her origin (it was not Russia), and this sister was older, she was was also divorced, single, etc... So what my lady did... She got acquainted with the neighbors pretty good, and she liked one of the man living across the road, who was single and looked not very happy. She invited her sister to visit them, and introduced her to this men. In several weeks they somehow convinced these two elder people to get married, and you will probably not believe me - the man and the woman agreed. They were both 60 or very close. She did not speak a word in his language, he did not know her language. I was quite a young person at that time and this story shocked me. I even found it immoral... (pig!). All these people still live together ever after. It has been 15 or more years by now.
The lesson - the elder couple knew exactly that all they wanted was a nice and caring partner at a hand reach. They were wise already not to dream about white horses and rich uncles/ aunts. Now - I believe that they are happy. And the thing that they could not even talk without a translator "across the road" during the first time changes nothing in their approach to find what they wanted.
They just knew exactly what they wanted.
The reason I told this story ... is unknown...

[NewSarah]

Those who vote for free sites - please give a nice explanation of your approach. We are here to criticize you in a friendly manner, do not worry.

[Voobrazheniye]

I personally would not register at any of the dating sites, but logically - such sites should be paid for both - men and women. May be it will make people be more responsible for what they do and what they are looking for. Though it is not the remedy, too.

Well, I if I understand correctly, the majority of the foreign marriage/dating sites charge men of their use and often PAY women just to be on the sites... or at least to have their photos on the sites.

[NewSarah]

Well, I if I understand correctly, the majority of the foreign marriage/dating sites charge men of their use and often PAY women just to be on the sites... or at least to have their photos on the sites.

Then logically, I do not understand it at all. This approach could be good for modern China, only, where the number of male exceeds the number of female extremely (they were aborting girls after the one-child law was introduced, and this new generation now suffers the lack of women). In all other countries the situation is about 50x50, and women want to be married more that men want it, because it is natural for a woman to find a strong shoulder (protection). I wonder if their output (paid to women sites) is better than where both pay.

[Ladine]

I think it's better to do a free site. Now a lot of paid sites and a lot of competition. in times of crisis will be very difficult to develop such a business. I've already said. that communicated a lot with people from other social networks. I tried to invite more people. first question was - is to be paid? When I replied that it is free people walked meets on the first page. but very few want to go now on forum.:not_i:

[Ladine]

There`s also many scammers on paid sites. It not a problem for such kind of people to pay for subscription, because they are making good money on this. Many people were disappointed in paid sites and prefer to use free sites like Facebook for communicating. For many russian women it`s like a shop. I don`t know what women in other countries think about such sites, but many russian women are trying to sell themselves there. Now, in crisis time many guys prefer not to pay for his dream to find an ideal girl, coz this dream can never come true, but to buy on this money gift for a girl who they can meet at free social site. I think men are more rational. But don`t look at girls who`s waiting for the expensive gifts from you. Coz there`s a girls who really needs love and understanding. Just sometimes we can`t understand each other coz of mentality differences.

[Crushik]

Which do you prefer paying for online dating services or using the free ones?

Free sites, for sure :blush:

[Gabber]

believe me - the man and the woman agreed. They were both 60 or very close. She did not speak a word in his language, he did not know her language. I was quite a young person at that time and this story shocked ...

they were unable to communicate. Sounds like a perfect match to me

[alenika]

I believe that friendship is a best way to start relationship (of the kind which I want). And free website where people can communicte freely with numerous amount of other people, without double thoughts, purpose, discuss neutral things in forums, when the talk is not with purpose of necessarily building something but because people enjoy communication. And in this case paying site is not the best. I felt somewhat guilty talking to people even in LL, as if abusing the money they pay for the site while I just talk yet, not planning to marry them right away, or to meet right away. As I needed time to get to know the person - in a free talk about anything (ok, almost anything lol). Paying sites create feeling of gettign involved in business, which exists for getting profits. And those sites give reason to those who pay to have expectations for what they pay.

[Gabber]

I believe Free sites are for men who have no money or are cheap. The chances for any woman meeting a guy who will travel to meet her are slim to none. Of course, this is for International hook ups. Local dating is quite different. Nonetheless, even local seems more legitimate when a monthly fee is paid as it gets rid of the criminal element and adds some intangibles such as class and mystique.

[CMM7]

I like the idea of men being paid to be on a dating site.:tongue:
And women should have to pay to meet us guys.:thank_you:
Would I pay to be on a dating site? Guess it would depend on the site.
I joined yahoo match, a long time ago, then they became match .com or some such, weekly they fill my spam box with their "matchs" for me.
Yes I have looked a few times, they are not very good match makers:biggrin:
I think many come to such sites with some real and unreal expectations.
After all no matter how much you pay, there is no obligation beyond a hello/goodbye in the dateing game,(I think if one uses real life to judge this by).

[yankee]

If one is to play the part as a pimp, it is nice to get paid for it:biggrin:

[alenika]

I believe Free sites are for men who have no money or are cheap. I believe paying dating sites are for business, not for dating. And men who are pay for dating want to buy their happiness without making efforts, but just paying money instead.

[Strata]

However, bullies are boys.:biggrin:

[Sveta's Hero]

I have to say paid sites, if I were single.

I met a girl a few years ago on a free site, we chatted for about a month, then decided to go out on a date. Wasn't great, but I reluctantly went out on another date with her, thinking maybe it was just first date jitters or something.

To make a long story short, after I felt we just weren't compatible, I told her that. She pretty much flipped out on me. She started calling me every day, texting, coming to my house. I was stalked by this girl for almost 3 years!

After she seen Sveta on my profile, she contacted her, and told her a bunch of lies, trying to scare her off. Things like my age, that I have a wife, etc...

Its been a while since she tried to contact me, and I hope she never tries again.

[NewSarah]

I believe paying dating sites are for business, not for dating. And men who are pay for dating want to buy their happiness without making efforts, but just paying money instead.

On the contrry - I think those who are ready to pay, they show how serious they are.

:connie_xmas-moose:

[Koshka]

On the contrry - I think those who are ready to pay, they show how serious they are.

:connie_xmas-moose:

I understand what Alenika says. Very often people are ready to pay and belive that they may buy a happiness forgeting that happiness they should build every day, step by step.

[Sveta's Hero]

Maybe they are not trying to buy happiness, but rather buying a tool that could help them find happiness.

[Koshka]

I have to say paid sites, if I were single.

I met a girl a few years ago on a free site, we chatted for about a month, then decided to go out on a date. Wasn't great, but I reluctantly went out on another date with her, thinking maybe it was just first date jitters or something.

To make a long story short, after I felt we just weren't compatible, I told her that. She pretty much flipped out on me. She started calling me every day, texting, coming to my house. I was stalked by this girl for almost 3 years!

After she seen Sveta on my profile, she contacted her, and told her a bunch of lies, trying to scare her off. Things like my age, that I have a wife, etc...

Its been a while since she tried to contact me, and I hope she never tries again.
I am sorry for my remark,

all people what we meet in our lives are our life's lessons when we understand it this understanding makes our lives effectively in many times.
Instead of say --"bad girl" -- ask yourself --"Where was I wrong with this girl?".

[Koshka]

Maybe they are not trying to buy happiness, but rather buying a tool that could help them find happiness.

a generalisation is not good way to find the thruth ;)

we may close eyes on the problem or decide it.

[Sveta's Hero]

I am sorry for my remark,

all people what we meet in our lives are our life's lessons when we understand it this understanding makes our lives effectively in many times.
Instead of say --"bad girl" -- ask yourself --"Where was I wrong with this girl?".

My mistake was going out with her on a second date. That's where I was wrong with her.

[Sveta's Hero]

a generalisation is not good way to find the thruth ;)

we may close eyes on the problem or decide it.

Exactly!:Laie_95:

[Sveta_Cooper]

Wasn't great
First impression is right in most situations. :Laie_95:

[alenika]

and women want to be married more that men want it, because it is natural for a woman to find a strong shoulder (protection). I wonder if their output (paid to women sites) is better than where both pay.
Yes, but men are looking for other women, and there are not so many of such women - model type, 20 y.o. looking for 60 y.o., with life goal to serve their men, and wishing to talk to nyone doesn't matter if that one can tie 2 words together or not. That's why agencies have to pay some women sometimes - sometimes for talks, sometimes for photos.

[slkas]

Yes, but men are looking for other women, and there are not so many of such women - model type, 20 y.o. looking for 60 y.o., with life goal to serve their men, and wishing to talk to nyone doesn't matter if that one can tie 2 words together or not.

And here I was thinking that only women believed in fairy tales. If you look at the eye candy then you are normal. If you think that marrying it will make you happy, then you are delusional and suicidal. Women are like a fine wine, age makes it better. (of course, abuse and too much aging makes vinegar too)

[Koshka]

Maybe they are not trying to buy happiness, but rather buying a tool that could help them find happiness.

Many people who come in in the Internet dating have a problem with communication in a real life and do not know how to build a relationship, and only the Internet can't decide their problems.

It does not mean they are bad people, of course not, majority of them are very good people. But this type of people should learn how to communicate and build a relationship and possible they need professional consultation and help.

[saprosky]

Many people who come in in the Internet dating have a problem with communication in a real life and do not know how to build a relationship, and only the Internet can't decide their problems.

It does not mean they are bad people, of course not, majority of them are very good people. But this type of people should learn how to communicate and build a relationship and possible they need professional consultation and help.

MisterX, you seem a professional, so could you explain to us how to communicate and build a relationship ?? :scratch_one-s_head:

[Koshka]

MisterX, you seem a professional, so could you explain to us how to communicate and build a relationship ?? :scratch_one-s_head:

send me PM ;)


btw, I am not a wizard yet, I only learn, but I will ;)

[saprosky]

send me PM ;)


btw, I am not a wizard yet, I only learn, but I will ;)


I think better to explain to everybody. I am sure most of us are shy and dumb with meet somebody of the opposite gender.:blush:

[Koshka]

I think better to explain to everybody. I am sure most of us are shy and dumb with meet somebody of the opposite gender.:blush:

F,
every person is very individual and original, therefore the one recipe does not exist for all people, people have similar problems but many different ways of desission their problems ;)
And people are not dumb but they are so close with problems that can't see the obvious, they need an independet view on their problems


ps Are you so shy to send me PM? ;)

[saprosky]

ps Are you so shy to send me PM? ;)

Yes :blush: