I do not understand a situation

[Ladine]

I have one suggestion. serious relationship but ... Why then remain only friends. how is this possible? I certainly do know some aspects of men but I can not understand how you can have a serious relationship but only a friendly ... :shok: I do not think this is serious. but we help each other advice

[jimsan]

I'm not sure what you mean.

[Ladine]

I'm not sure what you mean.

I do not know what it was. man offers a serious relationship but says it wants only friendship ... how it can be understood? Such relationships are? for me it's savagery ...

[CMM7]

ladine, you raise another good point.
I have seen, an experience from both Sides of this issue.
What it comes down to is one is not willing to go farther then friendship, while the other wants more.
Then it is up to both to discuss this issue between them, and resolve it.
only they them self may resolve it.
I have written in another thread some time ago, of a young girl,(early20,s), we talked every day, as I got coffee from her, there was a mutual attraction, but at different levels, she felt very close to me, as a friend, and my attention to her apparently was mistaken for more then just friendship.
When I realized what was going on, we sat and talked, and resolved this it was very hard, as I had no desire to hurt this young woman, but needed for her to see it was an infatuation only.
We are still friends, enjoy our talks, and laughs together, her parents were quite concerned, and I got to meet them, we became friends, and now to her I am a favorite uncle, she has a boyfriend her age, and all is good.
I can only imagine the disaster for all, had I yielded to this attraction, which frankly I could not understand on her part, I am not a dashing, handsome, wealthy man. And maybe young in spirit, I am a middle age guy, have a son older then her.
I made my choice based on reality, not fantasy, with a eye to the reality of the future.
I do enjoy the company of women an occasion, I do have girlfriends that accord me "privilege's", but have yet to meet a woman that could handle my life style, and the places I want to be, what I do in my life.
There would be no security for a woman in my life. I do not want to raise more kids, and am a confirmed bachelor, I come and go as I please with no one to answer to, or think of.
I make this very clear to all that I my make friends with.
That is just my story, I am sure others have theirs to add to this thread.

[Ladine]

Thanks CMM7 I just want to understand the situation. small. we have just as easily communicate with each other and specific obligations were not given. only friendship. No more.

[brown-raider]

it is better to let someone know from the begihhing how one feels rather than lead them on, the opther persons ego might be a little hurt but better than a broken heart and broken freindship later

[CMM7]

I agree, no matter what honesty is the best policy.
Good friends are hard to come by, I have always thought I could afford to loose none.
I guess every girl and guy has been "led on" at least one time in their life, what a terrible feeling when the truth does come out. I am not the nicest guy in the world, but have never felt any desire to be mean, or cause others undue pain, (to qualify that, in the civilian world, to the enemies, whole different story).

[Ladine]

yeah ... agrees. and I think that guy just wants to stay free and selfishly set that would not occupy more than his heart is. but shows that he is lonely. in this situation, it just does not trust the internet and can not determine how much it needs our relationship. therefore so behaves. wants a serious relationship, goes everywhere where I was invited, but it constantly tells me he does not want me to bring the pain in the future, therefore, only wants friendship. but there is not that easy so we really can only friends as it had not been hurt. LOL but it pains me because he did not bring Thurs is an acquaintance does not mean anything. just he loves photography, so as to make videos and we compete with someone as it turns. No more. and as playfully talking. but so far I do not have time to do videos. and the pain I've gone. so do not want anyone to look. I've had enough. I'm too attached to people quickly and then it hurts to lose them. no. better than indifference.

was a pain, was despicable. but we still communicate. but remained an unpleasant aftertaste.

[CMM7]

one way I have always been, when someone hurts me, I forgive and forget, I walk away and put behind me completely, no revenge, just forget it and move on.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda, holds nothing, eyes, head, heart forward.

[Ladine]

one way I have always been, when someone hurts me, I forgive and forget, I walk away and put behind me completely, no revenge, just forget it and move on.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda, holds nothing, eyes, head, heart forward.

I never hold grudge in his heart. I continue to be friends with these people. we're just friends now. but the more they are already I do not get :biggrin: I have more interesting things.

[brown-raider]

cmm7 and ladine, well yourboth better than me,,,, if someone hurts me i never forgive or ever forget and i hold a grudge forever

[Ladine]

cmm7 and ladine, well your both better than me,,,, if someone hurts me i never forgive or ever forget and i hold a grudge forever
you know. in the past I have had a very difficult family relation sh perceive ips. And I was always angry at their loved ones that I did not воспринимают as in ordinary families. to me by strangers who live next to a lot more done good and understand me, but family - never. they wanted that I'd like a servant to perform any whim. it's happening now and with my daughter. But as it was not there in the past I compared my mental state. and understood. that when you hold resentment? world is crumbling in your head. Begin to lose heart, and it seems that you were born a loser. I realized it too late because my had life has gone in the shuffle. But only now, when I forgive and forget when you simply take it as they realize that if something happens? then maybe this is only my fault. Everything is in the other (bright colors) and feel a little lost time. The world is so beautiful. and why even overshadow it negative showing other emotions that you're a loser? perceive just as it is. if this goes? means it is time to just such a path. and what would not I bring a grievance? I still talk to these people, even as a friend. smile and humor always helped me. more smiles around the greater impact. I went to work on site where it was said that since people are living vile . but it is not. We were in agreement. help me and others person constant scandals. what does the world have at heart and a smile on his face. All blooms in spring. we say that a kind word, even the cat is nice. and it's true.
and even now, if you start talking to me? I'll never go away from the conversation, or to hide. but never accept pressure and the negative and boring. I do not accept it. I have not I suffer simple.That's what I do not forgive. I've had enough pressure and insults in real life, what would I have allowed it to communicate vitrual world

[Ladine]

offense is a disease that eats you from inside