MY ATEMPT TO UNDERSTAND THE GAYLORD

[flash gordon]

SO BIG FOOKER YOU BROUGHT ME ON THE EGDE OF GIVING YOU ADVICE TO lOBOTOMY,

BUT I DID MT LAST ATEMPT OF UNDERSTANDING:
AND HAVE BEEN READING THIS/

[flash gordon]

Attempt to explain joke
This article attempts to explain a joke in minute detail, as if to an idiot, a very small child, or a very small child who is also an idiot. It also attempts to explain its own explanation, which, if successful, could result in crashing the universe. Please do not crash the universe.


The British Humour Board's official logo.
Darren Whitlen was found funny at Rock Kitchin, Manchester

“British Humour should be rammed down the throat, twice nightly.”
~ Noel Coward on British Humour

“It is clear that humour is far superior to humor.”
~ Oscar Wilde on British Humour

“I have half a mind to kick the shit out of you.”
~ Mark Twain on Oscar Wilde

“Well I have a whole mind to stab you to death.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Mark Twain

“British humour is British.”
~ Captain Obvious on British Humour


British humour (American former colonials and insubordinates: note the spelling) is the greatest of all forms of entertainment. No foreign person ever invented has truly understood this, especially not inhabitants of the good nation of America [notice the use of British humour by saying the good nation of America]. This handy, helpful guide will let you, Johnny Foreigner, get to grips with this important part of British culture.

Before we start, two extremely important ground rules should be brought to the attention of the non-British.

* 1. We (the British) don't like you. Whether we're scared of you or we laugh at you, either way you're not our friends nearly as much as you think you are. Ha.
* 2. We (the British) don't like ourselves. We're socially inept, we've pissed our Empire up the wall, we’ve pissed off everyone in our own continent of Europe and the rest of the world and our only friends are the United States. And let's face it, nobody wants them as friends. Their humor's shit for a start... ironic.

Collectively, the way we disguise these two loathings is called our humour.
Contents
[hide]

* 1 The History of Humour
* 2 The Essential Components of British Humour
o 2.1 Sarcasm
o 2.2 Irony
o 2.3 Self-Deprecation
o 2.4 The Piss-Take
o 2.5 Slapstick
o 2.6 Playground Humour
o 2.7 Potty Humour
o 2.8 Satire
o 2.9 The Pun
* 3 Geographical Location of British Humour
* 4 The Science of British Humour
o 4.1 International Enemies
* 5 Links

[edit] The History of Humour
King George V and his merry men doing their "Comedy Knights" sketch at Jongleurs in London.

Humour was invented in Britain in 1066 by John Cleese when he was heard to quip, "Those Normans will be making a carpet about this!" Unfortunately, he was correct, but who can guess what the French will do next?!

The development of humour was slow during the Dark Ages that followed, mostly because French people ruled the country and as everyone knows French people have a rubbish sense of humour. Lousy cheese eating surrender monkeys.

The next jump in humour was the development of actors, invented in 1584 by William Shakespeare. The use of actors allowed the spreading of humour further than ever before as their main job was to ram humour down the throats of those who came to watch them. Shakespeare has been credited with the invention of innumerable hilarious one-liners such as "Out, out damned spot", "To be or not to be, that is the question", "God, I want to die", and "I bite my thumb at thee".

“The very words on the page make my nipples stride forth with purpose”
~ A Britisher on William Shakespeare's words on the page

[flash gordon]

True British humour only really came to the fore after the invention of the radio in 1910 by then top comedian King George V. This allowed the much more subtle play on words style of humour associated with the British today.

The current state of British humour is one of disarray. Monty Python, the famous snake-charmer and fortune-teller, has often been quoted as the biggest influence of current surreal comedy in the UK, with his own cult following. Current devotees of the Cult of Python are Queen Elizabeth II, Harold Shipman, The Mighty Boosh and Tony Blair, amongst other famous comedians.
[edit] The Essential Components of British Humour
[edit] Sarcasm

Oxford English Dictionary definition of Sarcasm: "If I could say this and roll my eyes it would be funny."

Sarcasm is the "use" of "quotation marks" around any "word" to "make" it "funnier". You will know when "Johnny Foreigner" does this because he will actually use his "fingers" to make little "speech mark things" in the "air". The thing about British "people" is that they don't always do this so it can be "hard" to tell when they are being "sarcastic". An example of "sarcasm" is "Johnny Foreigner now understands British humour completely!"

Foreigners can safely assume that any time a British man compliments another British person they are using sarcasm; the only exception is for beautiful women, whom they may actually be complimenting in an attempt to sleep with them. This is a common occurence, as the British have a lot of suppressed emotion (horniness). This explains the almost universal unattractiveness of British men to foreign women, except of course for American women, who love British men. This could be yet another sign of a complete lack of humour, or possibly the best joke ever, who knows.
[edit] Irony

Irony is the use of iron in humour. For example many people feel that the “iron lady” (note the speech marks), Margaret Thatcher was the biggest joke of her time. The person who is funny, or the comedian, will pull out an iron bar or similar and beat the listener over the head with it repeatedly. This is incredibly funny for those people watching.

An example of verbal irony would be saying "I haven't had a comedian batter me over the head with an iron bar recently" just as a comedian is walking up behind you with an iron bar.

Another example of irony would be that Americans actually think this is true.

An even better example of irony is the fact that Mick Jagger thinks he is black, American, and a good dancer.

The best example since 1910 is Dalai Llama ironing his clothes while singing London Bridge is Falling Down and Joy to the world.
[edit] Self-Deprecation

Self-deprecation is a form of humour unknown to the American. It is when a person says something about themselves that is nearly always true and horrible. It only works well when combined with sarcasm. For example, "I am a stupid moron" is self-deprecating but not funny, whereas the phrase "I am a genius", combined with the power of sarcasm, becomes hilarious.
[edit] The Piss-Take
Top comedians from the countryside often take part in this dangerous performance.

All British people are great fans of the piss-take. This is when one person makes fun of another in front of their mutual friends without the second person knowing they are. This is often the start of a fight; traditionally the phrase "Are you taking the piss?" is said and then the two people go at it, outside in an orderly, structured manner Marquis of Queensbury style, as this is how all British people fight. (For an alternative view of how two people go at it Marquis of Queensbury style, see the article on Oscar Wilde.)


[edit] Slapstick

This is where a group of people tie bells to their ankles, wear white clothes and trousers with braces, dance round in a circle and slap each other senseless with sticks (Hence the name). It is a traditional folk-style humorous dance and can be seen in many small villages in the springtime. The beating of wooden sticks is a potent symbol of fertility, as British women just love a funny guy...sarcasm?
[edit] Playground Humour
The World's funniest thing

Playground humour is the type of humour practised in Britain only in the playground by small children below the age of 6, but in America is the dominant form of humour and is called Humor. It involves words like poo and wee and oblique reference to body parts normally hidden from view even when bathing. In playground humour adding the word 'bum' to any sentence makes it funny (in America 'yo ass' is substituted for the word bum. For instance the joke 'Knock Knock, who's there, yo ass' is, I am told, particularly popular in some states). Rule one of the Humor handbook states that a kick in the balls is the worlds funniest thing and therefore any joke or comic sketch that lacks a punchline can be ended with a kick in the balls and will always be funny. For examples of this see any Hollywood comedy billed as 'hilarious' or which the film reviewer from The Sun calls 'laugh-a-minute'. Some "interesting" facts about playground Humour:

* In the state of California any heavy or fast moving flying object must land squarely in the groin of a hapless antihero, who must then cross his eyes in extreme close up. This is the law. As above, see any Hollywood-produced comedy for confirmation of this.

* A joke that contains reference to poo but does not end with a kick in the balls is known as toilet humour.

* The film reviewer of The Sun is contracted to say that all comedies are laugh-a-minute and all thrillers are thrill-a-minute in order to get quotes in every film advertisment ever created. (The clause that stated all Romances should be dubbed shag-a-minute was written out as it didn't work. A team of highly paid script writers have been working on a universal review quote for Hollywood romances for a number of years but is yet to present a definitive answer. The current front runner is really crap ). [You could put the last two words in the previous sentence in quotation marks and it would still work].

[flash gordon]

Potty Humour
Johnny Foreigner using a patented American technique for toilet humour extraction. Will they never learn?

Toilet humour is at once the best and the worst of British humour. Seen as the realm of the child and the moron, toilet humour is often despised. It is also just about the funniest kind of humour there is. Unfortunately many foreigners can also make toilet humour, or indeed construct devices for harvesting it from toilets. This means that the world is full of toilet humour so for the cultivated British expert it just doesn't come up to scratch. There isn't much of an abundance of it in the United Kingdom, mainly due to the Nickelodeon Famine (2003-2105) of Ireland.

Words that constitute toilet humour, in alphabetical order, along with the literal American-English translation, are:

* Arse: Your ass
* Bum: Your ass
* Cock: Male chicken
* Chelsea: Old Age Pensioner
* France: Cheese-eating surrender-monkeys
* Pooh: Bear excrement
* Shit: Victoria Beckham
* Tit: Type of bird
* Uncyclopedia: Infantile waste of time. THAT DESERVEDLY RIPS THE SHIT OUT OF AMERICANS!

Another example of toilet humour is its use in songs. If you make a song, there are two things you can do to make it funny. The first is take the piss out of fat people (see "The Piss-Take"), and the second is to fart in the most loud and disgusting way possible (only the Irish do this as a result of said crisis above). Both of these methods will instantly make even the most unfunny song sound more humorous than your mum.
[edit] Satire
Britons have always used their powers of humour for good, as such they direct their awesome ability to crush opponents beneath a heap of laughing people against politicians and famous people in general. This is called satire and is done mostly in the form of cartoons wrapped around bricks and thrown through windows.
A pun in its natural environment
Other techniques are egg throwing and dressing as fictional characters and climbing buildings.

Recent technological inventions like TV have increased the average satire output of the country, making the UK the largest exporter of satire in the world today. Famous satirists such as Rory Bremner get their laughs by dressing up as other people and committing crimes so the other person gets arrested. This kind of behaviour is greatly encouraged, as it keeps the police from shooting immigrants in the street.

A recent example of the successful use of satire was in the removal of the Tory party from government. In 1979 Margaret Thatcher swept into power and the nation's satirists arose as one to defeat her; 18 short years later they were successful. Now the joke's on them.
[edit] The Pun

The pun is a rare and elusive creature outside of the UK. Spawned in a passionate lovemaking session between rhyme and tastelessness, the pun is often used in newspaper headlines, as a punishment and by physicists who know no other form of humour. It was used with devastating effect during the Cold War, when Hungarian physicists incorporated puns into newspaper headlines to punish Russia for invading their homeland and not being sufficiently funny.

The basic principle is to take a known and loved everyday phrase and turn it into something awful by changing the spelling or pronunciation. For example: "Pun for your life", "Be careful, he's got a pun", or "I'll punish you for that, you puny person".

It is also a cute little animal (see image).
[edit] Geographical Location of British Humour
A traditional British comedian doing the hilarious "telling the truth routine", or maybe eating a giant invisible pie.

The funniest parts of the UK other than Cornwall are Wales, closely followed by Ireland. These are the funniest parts of the country because they have the most jokes about them. For example, any sentence containing the words "Welsh" and "sheep" is considered extremely funny, as everyone knows Welsh people harbour deep amorous desires for our woolly little friends. They also suffer from an extremely dangerous accent that has been known to kill people through pure oratory power.

Cornwall is the funniest part of the country as, being 96.4% inbred (and proud), they cannot understand what you are saying about them, or even see how many people are there due to their swivel eyes, in fact they are so warped and twisted that tourism guides use the slogan, "Come to Cornwall where Bob's your Uncle, AND your Dad!"

Irish people are stupid and drink too much, and it is always funny to make jokes about retards and boozers, especially jokes that sound really funny after you've had a round or two.

Scotland is the least funny part of the country, as the people there are scary and no one wants to fight them (or do child labour harvesting heroin in high-rises), and their accent is so scary no-one can understand them anyway (Well actually, Americans consider Scottish people funny, but Americans are always wrong about humour). Within England itself, the North is considered funny by southerners and the South is considered funny by northerners. Hence the terms "Northern Monkeys" and "Southern Faries".

Places that everyone can make fun of include Liverpool, Birmingham, Dudley, Milton Keynes, France, and America.
[edit] The Science of British Humour

Scientists have long been trying to determine what makes the British so great at being funny. In 1986 Murray-Gellmann proposed a new particle to add to the Standard Model of particle physics for just this purpose. Regarding it as a fundamental building block of nature, he called it the 'funny quark' or FQ and hypothesised that it was caused when a strange-matter quark swaps out one dum for a dee.

In response, Codlington (1992) published his own study declaring that the fundamental particle of humour was of a much higher order, and proposed the designation 'ironion'. The scientific debate rapidly deteriorated after Murray-Gellman was seen following Codlington around in public bellowing "FQ!" at every opportunity.

Also unresolved, and currently unstudied, is any theory explaining how British people end up with more of the fundamental particles of humour than other nationalities. Current consensus favours the hypothesis that there is something in the water in the UK. In fact, the government of the UK has been tampering with the water supply since 1924, when they began adding fluorine to help with dental care after every single dentist in the country had been killed in the First World War.
[edit] International Enemies

The Germans for one. they were our enemies in WWII and as a result, the only nation that the British people detest more then Germany are our EX allies, The French. Italians are generally seen as too greasy for their own good, owing to their lack of shower facilities. Argentina is the prime nemesis of the peoples princess Margaret Thatcher whom she exterminated in a bloody and brutal war when she was middle aged in the year 1807. As exploration reveals new lands for the British to colonize and subsequently ruin our list of potential enemies grows by the day. maybe YOU could be next....

[flash gordon]

AS CONCLUSSION YOU ARE INDEED IN A VERRY TRADITIONAL INSULTING PROGRAM AND SWIM IN BATH OF WHAT YOUR TRADITION EDUCATED YOU.

YOUR ADDICTION TO CALL NAMES AND THE PROVOCATIVE SUPIRIORITY YOU NEED TO BLEAT OUT IS WHAT IRRITATES ME.bUT CONTINIU YOUR WORK SO AND SO YOU WILL DIE.
INTELECT IS AS WELL OPENING MIND FOR NEW APROACHES DIFFIRENT ANGLES AND AS ENGLISH MAN YOU SURPISSES ME YOU LACK OF SHAKESPEARIAN SOUL.

Continental ZORRO

[Koshka]

Zorro, I join the Ramon's advice, go to Gim instead of fighting with a Ramon's shadow and chatting with yourself :lol:

[flash gordon]

You are an ordinary (g)roupie...no need for your advice....

[flash gordon]

This forum I will not regret anymore....It became a blog rays blog .. guru as mentioned...No reply is possible without been picked down by y members as above..Its telling me that I dont belong here anymore. andy flatfish need aswell to insult in other topic and shadow finnished his work last night.

I stop because dont feel to insult some of you....its your choice to create such a forum not mine.....And Ray nowhere I have been insulted more than here by you...poor performance.

[Shadow-off]

I don't know if I were picking sides more than merely trying to help the two of you. You have both had leave of absence before, I remember this. I was just trying to shock you into stopping. Kinda of like asking a man that was about to commit suicide if he would like a cold drink too or a larger knife. The shock of something so absurd sometimes makes them forget what they intended to do. :becky:

[Lucker]

I will also try for the last time , though I offer no standard advice like " Don't jump" or " Think first "
We all have Trigger stimuli . With Chris I might say , " The unhappiness caused by unjust punishment " , and I am guaranteed to get back a chapter on the subject . With Dan , it might be something along the line of ," Americans fear Socialism because they are no longer a Christian race" . With Sarah , it might be , " Gazprom's impending Bankruptcy mirrors the moral bankruptcy of Russian people ". Etc , Etc .
With other subjects , they either keep quiet or sometimes write quite gentle Posts .
But you , Zorro , have invented a different set of rules which benefit only yourself .Your Trigger Stimuli are narrower and caught in words like Carrots , Clit , Willy and Tits .A huge part of your total contribution is built on such and other close associations , regardless of the Topic .
When it comes to Political and World events , you are thrown totally off balance . Your "Entry Formula " does not work . You cannot get in because your repertoire does not fit the subject matter and you are neither over interested or well informed in such areas .
The interesting thing is what you do next .
Instead of ignoring those areas which do not suit you or which you perhaps do not like , you offer a never ending tirade of abuse and general comment .
But precisely in areas where you otherwise don't take part because you have nothing to say.
What you then do is most revealing because you then start to be the abuser by pretending that articles on Russian matters show a hatred of Russian people etc . Just to get attention for yourself .
Well , Zorro , I am sick of your games . However "over the top " and deliberately mischievous I am , I guarantee that your Forum face has less depth and width .

How many times have you been told not to read World News Posts ? Too many times to remember .
You act as though you never listen and take on board advice .
Now it is your choice . You can walk away again displaying another temper tantrum or find a middle path of action and contribution that works satisfactorily for all involved .
A choice for a real Man .

[Sarah]

Zorro, why, WHY are you so sensitive to a virtual world?????????????? I can only guess how sensitive you must be to a real world, and it is not a good news! How can you react so painfully to a couple of negative saying said by someone we even do not know? May be Ramon does not exist at all! May be it is a Nigerian girl from the refugee's camp entertaining herself before breakfast? May be it is a group project of Mossad to study the reactions of virtually dating people? He can be anything! Including Prince Charles, who may be using this forum to steam out! And I will not be surprised, if he turns out to be Usama ben Laden, who has lack of communication with normal people, so he comes here...
Do you know the word "ignore"? Do you know how to use this ability in different situations? Why run out every time somebody from nowhere calls you names or makes faces? IGNORE, if you can not change the situation.

[flash gordon]

I will also try for the last time , though I offer no standard advice like " Don't jump" or " Think first "
We all have Trigger stimuli . With Chris I might say , " The unhappiness caused by unjust punishment " , and I am guaranteed to get back a chapter on the subject . With Dan , it might be something along the line of ," Americans fear Socialism because they are no longer a Christian race" . With Sarah , it might be , " Gazprom's impending Bankruptcy mirrors the moral bankruptcy of Russian people ". Etc , Etc .
With other subjects , they either keep quiet or sometimes write quite gentle Posts .
But you , Zorro , have invented a different set of rules which benefit only yourself .Your Trigger Stimuli are narrower and caught in words like Carrots , Clit , Willy and Tits .A huge part of your total contribution is built on such and other close associations , regardless of the Topic .
When it comes to Political and World events , you are thrown totally off balance . Your "Entry Formula " does not work . You cannot get in because your repertoire does not fit the subject matter and you are neither over interested or well informed in such areas .
The interesting thing is what you do next .
Instead of ignoring those areas which do not suit you or which you perhaps do not like , you offer a never ending tirade of abuse and general comment .
But precisely in areas where you otherwise don't take part because you have nothing to say.
What you then do is most revealing because you then start to be the abuser by pretending that articles on Russian matters show a hatred of Russian people etc . Just to get attention for yourself .
Well , Zorro , I am sick of your games . However "over the top " and deliberately mischievous I am , I guarantee that your Forum face has less depth and width .

How many times have you been told not to read World News Posts ? Too many times to remember .
You act as though you never listen and take on board advice .
Now it is your choice . You can walk away again displaying another temper tantrum or find a middle path of action and contribution that works satisfactorily for all involved .
A choice for a real Man .

THIS POST IS EXACTLY WHY THIS FORUM BECAME YOUR ORDINARY UGLY BLOG.
FULL OF JUDGEMENT OF VALUES AND MASTERING WHAT CAN AND WHAT CAN NOT ...YOU TAKE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE.AND ITS UNBARABLE WITHOUT LIGHTNESS ..YOU THINK THAT YOUR JOKES BRINGS LIGHTNESS ..IT DOESNT..BUT YOU ARE ALL REPONSABLE FOE THE STATE OFF.NOONE REACTS NOR IS WILLING TO CHANGE. SO I FEEL NOT BEEN ANNY MORE A MEMBER OF SUCH COMUNITY..MY DAMM RIGHT AND NO NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME ON MY CASE..ITS ONLY A CLITY WILLY AND CARROT CASE THE ONE OFF A LUNITIC IDIOT......ENJOY

[Sarah]

Come on, Zorro! Yes, he is this way and we know that we can not change him, just like he can not change us! So what? Will my bean soup taste worse because of that?
I also think your personal Angel (or may be Jesus Christ himself) is trying to test you or show you some other ways to react and resist to what you do not like... Open your eyes!

[Lucker]

Still shouting .
Still writing in Capital letters to impress yourself .
You do not listen or learn .
Go and find another audience to cry crocodile tears .

[Koshka]

THIS POST IS EXACTLY WHY THIS FORUM BECAME YOUR ORDINARY UGLY BLOG.


Stop moaning, if you can make your own blog better, do it, instead of crying and moaning

[flash gordon]

OK no sense to continiu..please stop adressing me anything ..I woul like to leave and stop to be mentioned or been puked me out.
zrzr

[Beemer]

Hello every body!

Is this thread about British humour?


:lol:

[Sniffer]

Hello Flashy,
Please allow me to adress you something anyway. Nobody here should act with you like a teacher saying "you must do - you should do...". I just give you my vision of this situation. Such forum can be a real nightmare if we do not take distance with. It can be very frustrating particularly when you want to express something - using non native language - and that people seems not to understand what you mean/express/feel. You are right. Ray is right. We have all a part of right in what we express here. But such mode of communication is not dynamic and often leads to this feeling of frustration. 2nd degreee is absolutely necessary here, but finally in life too. Ray is horrible here. I often disagree with what (and much more the way) he express (things). He certainly think a part of what he's expressing, but there are a lot of provokation and humour behind his posts. And i like it very much!... Like you Flashy, you are deliciousely crazy in most part of your post and it's a pleasure to follow your posts. I just hope there will be a sense for you to continue. Just the pleasure to share the crazyness of some strange people talking about life from time to time in front of their computer....

[Sniffer]

Hello every body!

Is this thread about British humour?


:lol:


British humour?
Non sense. Like asking how is the weather over London today... :becky:

[Koshka]

British humour?
Non sense. Like asking how is the weather over London today... :becky:

if belive Ray Ray the weather in Brighton always is perfect :p

[Lucker]

Not quite Meat Loaf
The weather can vary .It's me that is perfect .

[Koshka]

Hay an ancient God (Mummy), who is Meat Loaf? :p

[Sniffer]

Hay an ancient God (Mummy), who is Meat Loaf? :p

An old band who was singing "i would do anything for love"...
Be careful Koshka, i think our shy Ray try to tell you something :becky:

[jimsan]

A bit of advice Zorro...........stop using capitals.

[Koshka]

Be careful Koshka

Do you guess I am in the danger? :rolleyes: :p

[Koshka]

Zorro dear, you are so charming and stylish, when you do not fight with Ramon. Ignore him. Kiss.

[flash gordon]

I guess everbody who felt to speak out did.
I have been for 6 years on this forum. I learned and I got verry patient poeple around understanding my rudness ways of telling my thoughts my story. Normaly its all fiction as one wrote here. for me it wasnt ..it was a learning process wih falling and standing up. Ever I felt respect and in the beginning some compation for a guy who tries to talk without tools.So I brought me bans and specacular returns. When the new forum started ll told me to be free to join again after a year of ban....the forum changed and the standarts to. some went others joined. I feel now still the minds games been preferred above outing a feeling.


SINCE ray came nearly noone deer to speak from heart all you speak and spoke from 30 cm higher from brains . So that resilt constantly in judegement of values even some self judgement which has really no sence. It bring nothing than sour mind games and Ray is a master in ussing this . I never saw one post from that man which makes me thinking " he is now authenic" for me it has all along fabrication. I saw him once hurt when I showed his small abuse about a topic where he ussed copy and past. Than he felt standing his short trousers infront of me. I stopped straight not to push because I never get satisfaction to put somebody down.What followed was blind anger and fight for ???? A yes winning.


I have reading manny advices here adressed to me... I will give you all one . Try to be authentic even it makes you vulnerable its worth. To me this audiance group doesnt deserve me doing so. AS I am in live always open and expressing free my feelings I found out by your post than there is no place for me anymore here.

the abuse use of humor with sarcasm leads autism in private and public realations.

So Long


deepstrike

[Lucker]

SINCE ray came nearly noone deer to speak from heart all you speak and spoke from 30 cm higher from brains . So that resilt constantly in judegement of values even some self judgement which has really no sence. It bring nothing than sour mind games and Ray is a master in ussing this . I never saw one post from that man which makes me thinking " he is now authenic" for me it has all along fabrication. I saw him once hurt when I showed his small abuse about a topic where he ussed copy and past. Than he felt standing his short trousers infront of me. I stopped straight not to push because I never get satisfaction to put somebody down.What followed was blind anger and fight for ???? A yes winning.



Since Zorro 's self importance grew I found that Topic after topic was debased by his instinctive move toward the scruffy and puerile .
I would have liked to expand interest in the World News Section but he repeatedly tried to pour cold water on matters where his views and lavatory wall humour could not be aired .It was as though he never wanted to use his mind .He even resorted to highly offensive tactics by constantly suggesting I was putting down the Russian people and was , in fact , a Russian hater . An unforgivable bit of calculated wickedness which is completely absurd , -- but was taken on board occasionally by others who should have known better .That I will never forget or forgive .
Zorro is a master of crying and whining when matters do not go exactly his way . When GG and the Moderators played a more pro-active role, he was their nightmare . ....Complaining incessantly and stamping his feet when his views went unheeded .
Latterly he turned his attentions to a new source of suddenly discovered upset . Me .
He quickly forgot that in the "Old Days "of LL we were virtual buddies brought together by our brushes with Authority . In fact , it is only since Site Authority has apparently faded so hugely that we have seen Zorro try to fight the next strongest thing to GG -- me .
I have fought hard because that is my nature . But I have also seen others at least partly influenced by Zorro's insinuations and we recently reached the situation of a completely new member ( alleged) making his opening Post a blistering attack on me without so much as a " Hello" or " My name is , etc " . I leave it to others to decide what links -- deliberately or otherwise -- brought this about .
I know most of you are sick and/or bored by this spat and your main reasons for coming here are for enjoyment and as a means of talking to fresh and established virtual friends . Aggro is not wanted .And that is fine and right .
However , I choose to write a quick note of reply because I will be glad to see the back of his nasty and dishonest side even though he has some quirks and eccentricities which will also be missed .
As a very small example . Consider the fluency of his " last " Post . He has always been dishonest in this area and I am a stickler for standards --- once a liar , always a likely liar .

[bobbyd]

I guess everbody who felt to speak out did.
I have been for 6 years on this forum. I learned and I got verry patient poeple around understanding my rudness ways of telling my thoughts my story. Normaly its all fiction as one wrote here. for me it wasnt ..it was a learning process wih falling and standing up. Ever I felt respect and in the beginning some compation for a guy who tries to talk without tools.So I brought me bans and specacular returns. When the new forum started ll told me to be free to join again after a year of ban....the forum changed and the standarts to. some went others joined. I feel now still the minds games been preferred above outing a feeling.


SINCE ray came nearly noone deer to speak from heart all you speak and spoke from 30 cm higher from brains . So that resilt constantly in judegement of values even some self judgement which has really no sence. It bring nothing than sour mind games and Ray is a master in ussing this . I never saw one post from that man which makes me thinking " he is now authenic" for me it has all along fabrication. I saw him once hurt when I showed his small abuse about a topic where he ussed copy and past. Than he felt standing his short trousers infront of me. I stopped straight not to push because I never get satisfaction to put somebody down.What followed was blind anger and fight for ???? A yes winning.


I have reading manny advices here adressed to me... I will give you all one . Try to be authentic even it makes you vulnerable its worth. To me this audiance group doesnt deserve me doing so. AS I am in live always open and expressing free my feelings I found out by your post than there is no place for me anymore here.

the abuse use of humor with sarcasm leads autism in private and public realations.

So Long


deepstrike

I will speak to you Lavuun from the heart.

1. Yes, some of your posts can be viewed as rude and most of us could not care less; you are one of many who post and we are all very different in expressing our beliefs and character

2. There are those who use this forum as an attempt to impress others and it is painfully obvious. Then again there are those who trust and like us enough to accept our criticisms (Cam posted a song today and Paul has done so before- that takes a great deal of courage!!) You, on the other hand, have recently decided to use this forum as a soapbox thinking you are some kind of masked hero for us bumbling idiots who can't speak for ourselves...and you're not.

3. Your choice to fight with another member is your choice and quite frankly, silly. Why should you care so much about another person's viewpoints that you would publicly try to mock him with childish posts? Very few have bothered to respond to this thread because they find it inane.

4. Ray can post whatever he pleases, like you do. Some I like, some I dismiss and move on to another thread. If you are threatened by what somewhat on the Internet says then you should disconnect your Internet. Lavuun, after so long many of us have strange loyalties to certain posters because of familiarity and friendly emails etc... When I see anything From 'Nika or Marina for instance I will go read it asap. Lately, when I see something from you I don't bother and this was not always the case.

5. If you don't get satisfaction from putting someone down then why do you go out of your way to do so?

[Koshka]

Zorro and Ramon, I do not want to support anybody of you in that thread, you both adult boys and play in your adult games, but I give my thanks to Ramon, because native language is his best skill.

[elane-ellie]

I presume, no one had recalled initially it was something about humour.. English one ;) (or perhaps British....)
Me in particular liked this statement much:



* 1.We (the British) don't like you. Whether we're scared of you or we laugh at you, either way you're not our friends nearly as much as you think you are. Ha.
* 2. We (the British) don't like ourselves. We're socially inept, we've pissed our Empire up the wall, we’ve pissed off everyone in our own continent of Europe and the rest of the world and our only friends are the United States. And let's face it, nobody wants them as friends. Their humor's shit for a start... ironic.





As Ra likes to say: Discuss! :becky: Well, it was a deviation, actually.


Dear Flashie.. Everyone of us exists in three hypostasis:

Who do we think we are.
Who do people think we are.
Who we 'real' are.

Factually, the second option is what I never (almost never) care about. Because I'm trying to understand : real me - who is this person? But the opinion of my neighbours about me doesn't bother me at all. For so, I like some people as well as I don't like some. And vice versa: some people like me, some - on the contrary. But it doesn't mean they are bad nor me. It is just the matter of your taste, vision, preferences. And the matter of coinciding and being emotionally compatible.

The same is here, on GG. We do not see each other, we don't hear each other but somehow we feel each other. And , naturally, it causes (or creates) our attitude to each other.

I’ll give you the simplest example:
When some nasty boy here says I am an ugly brainless creature, a plain reflection or copy even of a man (human!) , I do not know what is oysters and thus I smell with borsch – it is but his problem, not mine. As I know who I am inside and externally, moreover, my skin smells good and yummy.
Means: I am not offended, why should I? I am in no position to prove anything.

If someone doesn’t like you – let him passing by.
If you don’t like him – be rather noble allowing yourself to not notice him at all.

It is a rule: when people provoke you – they want your emotions, good or bad both. They feed themselves with your emotions. If you won’t give nor show your emotions, everything stops as they see no food and are rushing to search for a new victim. Don’t want to be a victim, someone’s meal? Don’t react. That’s all.

Warm regards.
Brainless Blondie (but not Breastless though) El

;)

[Koshka]

When we all wrote Flashy had left the forum but he do the same constantly

[Shadow-off]

I think even though both of you may feel animosity for each other and both of you harbor some pain emotionally maybe created in your previous discussions with each other and in previous topics. The other day I was reading in the news about the train wreck that recently happened in Belgium; when I saw the headline I immediately thought of you and if you might have been on that train where 18 people lost their lives and where many others were seriously injured. I was concerned, as I have been concerned about many previous and similar events involving plane crashes that have occurred in Ukraine and Russia in the past. I wasn't online when I thought this and felt this and I was happy to see that you and the others I know were still alive and uninjured. I am concerned about both of you being injured now as well over this circumstance. I will be honest with you there are a few people here I just don't like very well and some of them are my own countrymen to be honest with you. There are times though when I still give them a thumbs up for some of the photos and post they make. The one thing I have learned to do is to realize those people and I have a problem with each other and a very serious problem with each other whether they realize this or not; yet I realistically understand we are members of the same jungle and like all animals of a jungle we learn where to go, how to go and when to go to avoid catastrophic events with each other. In this way we learn to live in cautious harmony together.
Accept diversity in people and that includes their different values too. You can participate in the same jungle even though you have different opinions, values and standards. Both of you enjoy spending time here to some extent and leaving here will only create more animosity within yourself for each other. If you leave you will blame the other for it, when all that is necessary is to put a cap on the things you know would directly infuriate the other, and create an uncomfortable situation for yourselves and others. Learn to cap this in the name of diplomacy and self-grace. Don't take the shots both you might have the opportunity to take that you also know would create injury or a big argument. The most dangerous weapon in the world is words. If you don't think so you only need to remember Hitler’s famous book. More than 6,000,000 Jews are dead because of it. You have the same weapon available; never use it. Learn that most of your enemies will be consumed by their own rage, vindictiveness or lifestyle; let them run themselves to death if they desire; at least you won't die in the process of watching that race. Both of you are very intelligent men as are many many other people here. We all have the word too. Jefferson wrote: "An uneducated man may steal from a train car but an educated man will take the entire railroad." We can all hold our breath when we want and we can therefore not speak when we desire too. Maybe this will help some. WTF just enjoy yourselves because one day in the future we won't be hearing anyone’s voice any longer; and we will miss this also.

[krevedko]

I find this warfare extremely boring and childish.
There's a good saying: "When you're arguing with an idiot, remember that he might be doing exactly the same".

I have no intention to take any sides in this ridiculous conflict, cause, to be honest, the lengthier the mutual accusing posts get, the more inclined I am to totally ignore them.

What I do not like is that a forum, where most of us come to relax, take their mind off the mundane life activities, becomes a freaking Dom-2 reality show.

I do not understand the need to take a personal grudge to public arena. If I don't like certain persons' posts cause I have all grounds to believe they were written either just of pure spite or due to total lack of brain - I simply ignore them and avoid reading any further creations of such poster. Life's too short to spend it reacting and overreacting to some negative things. May peace be with you, brothers and sisters. amen. :becky:

[krevedko]

Shadow, that "Cautious Harmony" is a freaking masterpiece! :becky: Love the phrasing.



p.s. i insist in my request to mail me some of your dope. seems like a real good stuff :becky:

[Lucker]

There are some nice people on this site Zorro .
Why don't you give a virtual hand shake and we agree to ignore those things that annoy us and share where there is something to be shared

[Shadow-off]

To modify the great words of Winston Churchill: "This is dogfoods finest hour." :becky:

Thank you for your post krevedko :grababeer:

[Koshka]

I’ll give you the simplest example:
When some nasty boy here says I am an ugly brainless creature, a plain reflection or copy even of a man (human!) , I do not know what is oysters and thus I smell with borsch – it is but his problem, not mine. As I know who I am inside and externally, moreover, my skin smells good and yummy.


It's an only play of associations, but your post remind me that when the Emperor Napoleon of France was about to return from battle, sent a message to Josefina. "I am returning in three days. Do not wash." ;)

[statajack]

It's an only play of associations, but your post remind me that when the Emperor Napoleon of France was about to return from battle, sent a message to Josefina. "I am returning in three days. Do not wash." ;)

Napoleon liked his woman to smell of old camembert cheese. Maybe he had no sense of smell. :confused:

[Calibret]

I think you're both totally nuts but's it's OK.

[Lucker]

He's nuts but she's tits .