Evolution

[krevedko]

It was 5 a.m. and I was lying in my bed acutely insomniac. Counting sheep wasn’t getting me anywhere as I’m not that good in counting. So I ended up thinking different bizarre thoughts, and as the train of thought was puffing at full speed I found myself in a Philosophical Thoughts Carriage (which is second class – have I been luckier and wealthier I’d have managed to get a first class ticket to the Erotic Dreams Carriage). Anyway, tedious buzzing of a mosquito making repeated attacks at my ear made me think of evolution.

As far as I understand, evolution is a process that is supposed to help species to adjust themselves to the circumstances of their living and to prevent their premature dying.

Now, take a mosquito. As far as I know insects quickly adopt to different chemicals used by humans to either kill the former, or make the former f*ck off and leave the latter alone. The hateful tiny vampires either learn to ignore those chemicals or develop a heavy addiction and start preferring a sniff of OFF to the suck of warm red blood. I remember one night we had a picnic on a river bank which was quite nice apart from the fact that we were being attacked by a swarm of blood-thirsty mosquitoes. So we decided to check the efficiency of a widely advertised OFF repellent. My brother’s wife and I covered our faces with a 2 cm layer of OFF and were lying on our backs in the grass to see what was going to happen. I can report that the insects were in fact dying. They were freaking drowning in OFF! :becky:

I really can’t understand why hunting habits of mosquitoes have never evolved, why do they keep going for your ear or eye when you’re trying to get some sleep. I’m not greedy and I’ve got lots of blood. I don’t mind being bitten in my leg – I even stick it out from under the duvet to distract the annoying buzzing bastards. Unfortunately mosquitoes aren’t men and legs are not too high on their priority list. They want audience, they want you to listen to their poor attempt at singing, then jump off the bed and start applauding (the dumb creatures think you’re expressing your admiration rather than trying to kill them). I don’t get it! They wanna eat or commit suicide? Why can’t they turn a stealth buzz-off mode on then?? :cool: What’s a freaking poor evolution and strategic thinking, if you ask me.

The moral of a story? Oh, it’s simple really. Don’t forget to replenish your stock of repellents if you want to get a good night’s sleep. It might not totally protect you but chances are your mosquitoes will turn out to be repellent junkies who’d be too busy inhaling the chemical vapours and leave you alone. Unless they get too stoned and start singing karaoke. Then the only option you have is to join the party, the night is screwed anyway – so why not have some fun instead. :becky:

[fbibob]

Minor detail. The mosquito does not search out blood for its food source. The female uses blood as part of the reproduction process. So their appetite cannot change or their species does not survive.

Here is a better way to kill mosquitos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VICaWgD-76w


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fbibob, how to post youtube video you can read here http://www.gogabber.com/showthread.php?t=31

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[krevedko]

:becky: ok, starting from today my diet will include littres of tabasco :boom::flame:

my usual methods have been somewhat primitive :brick::clubonhead::boxer:

[jimsan]

Carry a blowtorch with you.
That scares the shit out of them !!!

:)

[statajack]

Excellent piece. Tongue-in-cheek, and written with purpose. I love it.

You've just gone to the top of my list of people to read. :)

[krevedko]

Carry a blowtorch with you.
That scares the shit out of them !!!

:)

:rolling: the problem is that it scares the sh*t of me as well :becky:

[krevedko]

Thank you for your compliment Statajack. :yo:
I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Voobrazheniye]

Bravo! Excellent read!:yo:

The next time I decide to partner up with someone to create a new masterpiece of erotica, I'll be sure to consider you as a replacement for my previous Quebecois writing partner.

I hate it when I get bumped from the Erotic Fantasies Carriage to the Philosophical Thoughts Car. It's even worse when the object of your erotic fantasies is the one who sends you there. The best thing about the Erotic Fantasies Carriage is that mosquietoes can buzz around you all night and you just don't give a fook.

[jimsan]

You are in the erotic carriage and you don't give a fook ???

If I was in the erotic carriage I would be fooking all night !!!

[krevedko]

You are in the erotic carriage and you don't give a fook ???

If I was in the erotic carriage I would be fooking all night !!!

Jim, are you sure you're not mixing up erotics and pornography? :becky:

[krevedko]

I hate it when I get bumped from the Erotic Fantasies Carriage to the Philosophical Thoughts Car. It's even worse when the object of your erotic fantasies is the one who sends you there. The best thing about the Erotic Fantasies Carriage is that mosquietoes can buzz around you all night and you just don't give a fook.

:becky::megalol:

Thank you, Paul :) Well, let me know the next time the muse visits you and we can join forces, povided my own muse won't be on a sick leave or vacation :becky:

[kompukovboichik]

I really can’t understand why hunting habits of mosquitoes have never evolved, why do they keep going for your ear or eye when you’re trying to get some sleep. I’m not greedy and I’ve got lots of blood. I don’t mind being bitten in my leg – I even stick it out from under the duvet to distract the annoying buzzing bastards. Unfortunately mosquitoes aren’t men and legs are not too high on their priority list. :becky:

The simple fact is that mosquitoes are attracted to the warm, moist carbon dioxide that is emitted by your breathing.... only the females bite, and their wing flaps are stealth.... you cannot hear them... you can only hear the males....

[Lucker]

I don't actually know whether I have exceptional hearing but I can hear a wrist watch tick , an electric clock hum while lying in bed and , far , far worse , a mosquito whining when I am asleep .
I can pack to travel the world in 20 minutes with no care or worries apart from whether I have the repellent and the room socket " plug in " to murder them by science .
The truth is that if you sweat profusely you are vulnerable at 100 metres and short of immersing yourself in some chemical potion , you will be attacked .
So that immediatey identifiable very high pitch whine actually scares me a million times more than the thought of a two legged intruder carrying a hammer .
And , naturally , my worst experience was in Russia in a little village called Saint Petersburg .
I had visited a lifetime before and I suspect it was then early Winter for I remember nothing about Mosquitos --- perhaps the KGB had dealt with them .
But this time it was plus thirty five and early July .
I had forgotten the implications of that clown Peter deciding to build the village on a marsh swamp . And the one hotel without killer Plugs was the hotel I managed to select -- a large stone throw from the stream that ran through the town centre .
In the morning I could feel over thirty bites and the little sleep I had obtained was inside the sheet which I lay buried in with only a slit for breathing .
I remember about three in the morning I had completely lost it . I stood naked with the light on and a shoe in my hand as my killing weapon .
They sat looking and waiting on the curtains , on the ceiling and right round the picture rail . There were so many I could only guess at the total . I went berserk , smashing individuals where possible and hurling my shoe at the ceiling .
The feeling of frustration , pain and doom was overwhelming .
It is terrible to be marked as a priority target .
I am convinced it has to do with blood quality ( I have a very sweet tooth ) and the ease with which you sweat . I am marked and tracked down even here in the UK when I will be told there are no mosquitos and that I am psychologically disturbed .
That is when I show them the bite marks ,swellings and bumps .

[Neilikka]

How is it always happen that all your journeys to FSU are so amazingly unsucsessful? Either locals don't allow you to fall asleep with their obsession with cleaning or local mosquitoes feel something special too you!
Why not stay at the hotels with airconditioning? Are you afraid of legioners' disease?:flypig::flypig::flypig:

[alpine-frolic]

It was 5 a.m. and I was lying in my bed acutely insomniac. Counting sheep wasn’t getting me anywhere as I’m not that good in counting

I cannot more count on counting sheeps when insomniac since i am in LL, every 35 sheeps i begin to sleep but suddenly appear allways a green celtic fan!