Mail-Order Husband?

[Neilikka]

Not only are international marriages not raising eyebrows anymore, demand for Russian mail order brides shows no sign of abating. With more and more American men seeking feminine, traditional-minded Russian girls to start a family, what of the occasional Russian husband who finds himself on the other side of the Atlantic, and, contrary to all expectations, married an American wife?
For anyone who has ever wondered why so many online dating services dedicate their business to bringing Russian brides together with American husbands, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation from both sides of the Atlantic. Thanks to Russia's peculiar demographic situation, the men to women ratio here is dangerously low. Statistically, Russian girls are hard pressed to find a good husband at home, while the life of an American housewife still looks glamorous
As for American men and American women, the problems are more obvious still.
"Russia mercifully has been free of some of the more negative and extremist aspects of American feminism," Dr. Lynn Visson, author of "Wedded Strangers - The Challenges of Russian-American Marriages," told The Moscow News. "When I was interviewing American men, asking them why they were looking for Russian wives, the answer was always because American women are so horribly unfeminine. And then they would be hit with these gorgeous Russian girls."
So where, exactly, does that place international couples who are on the other side of the gender divide? The Russian men who fall for independent-minded Western women?
Pasha, a 25-year-old radio journalist in Moscow, doesn't think so. He has dated his English girlfriend, Alice, for three years, and hasn't exactly managed to surprise a lot of people.
"My generation doesn't really stick to stereotypes, and they found it normal," he told The Moscow News. "People who are older than 30, when they introduce us to others, have a tendency to say, ‘This is Alice, she is English.' Not that she is my girlfriend, but that she is English. But when we are in England it's a lot easier."
Apparently that is because the territory in these international relationships plays a surprisingly important role. Dima, 36, was in a relationship with an older American woman; they were married for over two years and spent the entire seven years that they were together in the United States. "I was constantly faced with this feeling of uniqueness," he said. "People had rarely met an American woman who had a Russian husband. They just didn't know what to say. The first question - to her - was where did you find him? And also, they thought that I must be really smart."
When looking at the difference between American-Russian and Russian-American marriages, it turns out that gender equality is not as easily attainable as some would hope. According to a survey by Anastasia International, a Russian-American online dating service, 89 percent of women and 55 percent of the men experienced a change in their lifestyle after they got married - obviously, the women who followed their husbands to America had a lot more to adjust to than married life. Somehow, though, adjusting is just taken for granted as more natural for women.
Pasha, for instance, is a Russian who lives in Russia. There's not much to say in the way of adjusting. "It's comfortable for me," he says. "I'd like to live in England for a while, but I'm not ready to move there and forget about Russia." But in terms of his relationship with Alice, who is three years younger and doesn't speak very good Russian, home is a more complicated concept. "When I ask my girlfriend if she wants to move back, of course she says that she likes everything here. But I think she's under a certain greenhouse effect because she lives in the center of Moscow. It's not exactly Russia. And I'm not sure to what extent she realizes that what she likes about her current home is not exactly Russia, but perhaps the fact that she lives in the center of a major city. Moreover, this is not her natural habitat."
My own Russian husband felt ill at ease when he found himself in a Brooklyn apartment with little to do after running the gauntlet of obtaining a fiancé visa. U.S. immigration regulations tend to treat such cases as dependents - normally, an American citizen would want to bring over a bride from India or Russia, and the paperwork my husband had to fill out reflected his legal status as little more than a foreign bride.
But some Russian men find that they are the ones who benefit most from this kind of marriage.
"For me the first thing was stability," says Dima, who met his wife in graduate school in Texas. "The knowledge that if something goes wrong, then my wife, who is familiar with the system, will help." He admits, however, that the arrangement took its toll on his wife. "It was more difficult for her. She was older than me, and also the language barrier annoyed her."
Would it have been easier for her if she were the man, and he were the woman?
"Probably, yes, because it's the wife that usually adapts to the husband," Dima says. "The older I get, the more I agree with the Biblical passage. And it would have been easier for me, because on the one hand, she's this independent woman, but on the other, she needs something more than equality. I just needed the equality. I didn't realize that she wanted a stronger man as well."
According to Dr. Visson, who interviewed international couples in her research, American wives of Russian husbands are not only a tiny minority, they are also at a disadvantage.
"I think that for American women and Russian men - for some of them - you have the usual kind of criteria that apply to almost all cross-cultural marriages," she says, "which is that either a lot of them are looking for their roots - you find a lot of American women where the parents or the grandparents are Russian. Or you find the exact opposite, where people want to get away from their roots and start over."
Dr. Visson, who is a Russian émigré and considers herself as representing both Russian and American cultures, agrees that the toll in these marriages frequently falls on the women.
"It can be a shock for some American women to see exactly how unliberated Russian men are, she says. "Even if the woman is working the husband will still have an expectation that the woman will keep house, and that there will not be this parceling of responsibilities that is going on in America. There is also an expectation on the part of Russian men that women will want to look feminine and be feminine."

By Anna Arutunyan

[brown-raider]

Good Luck Russian men! you can have the American women:becky:... don't forget to buy a good microwave and Rachel Ray cookbook:lol:

[Calgary1966]

Good Luck Russian men! you can have the American women:becky:... don't forget to buy a good microwave and Rachel Ray cookbook:lol:


Now thats good comedy!!!!!!:first::rockon::lollol:

[LeesonsLegacy]

Those Russky men are welcome to the Brit girls. :)

[Luckyguy]

Not only are international marriages not raising eyebrows anymore, demand for Russian mail order brides shows no sign of abating. With more and more American men seeking feminine, traditional-minded Russian girls to start a family, what of the occasional Russian husband who finds himself on the other side of the Atlantic, and, contrary to all expectations, married an American wife?
For anyone who has ever wondered why so many online dating services dedicate their business to bringing Russian brides together with American husbands, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation from both sides of the Atlantic. Thanks to Russia's peculiar demographic situation, the men to women ratio here is dangerously low. Statistically, Russian girls are hard pressed to find a good husband at home, while the life of an American housewife still looks glamorous
As for American men and American women, the problems are more obvious still.
"Russia mercifully has been free of some of the more negative and extremist aspects of American feminism," Dr. Lynn Visson, author of "Wedded Strangers - The Challenges of Russian-American Marriages," told The Moscow News. "When I was interviewing American men, asking them why they were looking for Russian wives, the answer was always because American women are so horribly unfeminine. And then they would be hit with these gorgeous Russian girls."
So where, exactly, does that place international couples who are on the other side of the gender divide? The Russian men who fall for independent-minded Western women?
Pasha, a 25-year-old radio journalist in Moscow, doesn't think so. He has dated his English girlfriend, Alice, for three years, and hasn't exactly managed to surprise a lot of people.
"My generation doesn't really stick to stereotypes, and they found it normal," he told The Moscow News. "People who are older than 30, when they introduce us to others, have a tendency to say, ‘This is Alice, she is English.' Not that she is my girlfriend, but that she is English. But when we are in England it's a lot easier."
Apparently that is because the territory in these international relationships plays a surprisingly important role. Dima, 36, was in a relationship with an older American woman; they were married for over two years and spent the entire seven years that they were together in the United States. "I was constantly faced with this feeling of uniqueness," he said. "People had rarely met an American woman who had a Russian husband. They just didn't know what to say. The first question - to her - was where did you find him? And also, they thought that I must be really smart."
When looking at the difference between American-Russian and Russian-American marriages, it turns out that gender equality is not as easily attainable as some would hope. According to a survey by Anastasia International, a Russian-American online dating service, 89 percent of women and 55 percent of the men experienced a change in their lifestyle after they got married - obviously, the women who followed their husbands to America had a lot more to adjust to than married life. Somehow, though, adjusting is just taken for granted as more natural for women.
Pasha, for instance, is a Russian who lives in Russia. There's not much to say in the way of adjusting. "It's comfortable for me," he says. "I'd like to live in England for a while, but I'm not ready to move there and forget about Russia." But in terms of his relationship with Alice, who is three years younger and doesn't speak very good Russian, home is a more complicated concept. "When I ask my girlfriend if she wants to move back, of course she says that she likes everything here. But I think she's under a certain greenhouse effect because she lives in the center of Moscow. It's not exactly Russia. And I'm not sure to what extent she realizes that what she likes about her current home is not exactly Russia, but perhaps the fact that she lives in the center of a major city. Moreover, this is not her natural habitat."
My own Russian husband felt ill at ease when he found himself in a Brooklyn apartment with little to do after running the gauntlet of obtaining a fiancé visa. U.S. immigration regulations tend to treat such cases as dependents - normally, an American citizen would want to bring over a bride from India or Russia, and the paperwork my husband had to fill out reflected his legal status as little more than a foreign bride.
But some Russian men find that they are the ones who benefit most from this kind of marriage.
"For me the first thing was stability," says Dima, who met his wife in graduate school in Texas. "The knowledge that if something goes wrong, then my wife, who is familiar with the system, will help." He admits, however, that the arrangement took its toll on his wife. "It was more difficult for her. She was older than me, and also the language barrier annoyed her."
Would it have been easier for her if she were the man, and he were the woman?
"Probably, yes, because it's the wife that usually adapts to the husband," Dima says. "The older I get, the more I agree with the Biblical passage. And it would have been easier for me, because on the one hand, she's this independent woman, but on the other, she needs something more than equality. I just needed the equality. I didn't realize that she wanted a stronger man as well."
According to Dr. Visson, who interviewed international couples in her research, American wives of Russian husbands are not only a tiny minority, they are also at a disadvantage.
"I think that for American women and Russian men - for some of them - you have the usual kind of criteria that apply to almost all cross-cultural marriages," she says, "which is that either a lot of them are looking for their roots - you find a lot of American women where the parents or the grandparents are Russian. Or you find the exact opposite, where people want to get away from their roots and start over."
Dr. Visson, who is a Russian émigré and considers herself as representing both Russian and American cultures, agrees that the toll in these marriages frequently falls on the women.
"It can be a shock for some American women to see exactly how unliberated Russian men are, she says. "Even if the woman is working the husband will still have an expectation that the woman will keep house, and that there will not be this parceling of responsibilities that is going on in America. There is also an expectation on the part of Russian men that women will want to look feminine and be feminine."

By Anna Arutunyan

Very well written, Well done and very accurate.

[disc999golfer999]

I met this Russian guy at work. Vladim! I introduced myself by speaking in Russian to him. He is from Russia, but married an American woman. She was teaching for 1 1/2 years over there and they married. They lived as a married couple for 1 year before coming to the USA.

It sounds like things worked out as they have been married 7 years already. They lived in the USA for 5 years already. So that is a success story! They lasted past the Green Card phase.
:plane::yo:

[MrW]

Those Russky men are welcome to the Brit girls. :)

Thats my mother you are talking about!

[Neilikka]

you seem to be a careful son! Best wishes to your Mummy.

[Buff-Aussie]

Those Russky men are welcome to the Brit girls. :)

And the Australian ones as well

[Sarah]

I know a couple – she is an American and he is a Russian. They first met 15 years ago in Russia and she fell in love like crazy… He was politely indifferent, as he was quite attractive and a lot of girls wanted to date him. But Jen never gave up – she was not pushy or anything of this kind, but she was always near, always friendly, an excellent cook, and she lost 10 kg, because she thought it was important for him. He invited her to go out, to spend vacation together, but she was always just one of them for him … in spite that I kicked his arse painfully trying to attract his attention to what he was missing because of his typical male blindness… One day he noticed that there was something about this girl what he could not find in his Russian beauties. So in almost 7 years they started living together and at the same time she was invited to work for the US Government in Washington, and he was invited to work for a big US company in Houston. So they actually separated again, and could see each other may be a couple of times per month… 5 years ago these guys finally married and started producing kids… Oh my God! I can not tell you how happy I was for Jen, as from my viewpoint she is the one who deserved this happiness. They have 2 kids now, he carries his Jen in hands, fulfills all her smallest and biggest desires and wishes, and she is really-really-really happy. He is very happy as well.
It is a Christmas story, but it is true!
PS. She is a very rare type of person - a classic dream of a man who wants to be loved. She always reminded me a Decabrist woman, if you know what it is...

[trout]

I like USA women very much; however, it appears they don't really find much use for me... LOL

I doesn't matter where you are from, it matters how you act...right?

[Casuallove]

Good Luck Russian men! you can have the American women:becky:... don't forget to buy a good microwave and Rachel Ray cookbook:lol:

Guys, what is the era now???? :eek:
I will make you a gift to a microwave oven......:becky:

In purpose economy…. it'll be cheap, Russian Bride?
Looking for ways to save on wedding expenses is an increasingly common scenario for couples. Many couples are choosing lower-cost locations. The average cost of a wedding is just under $29,000, according to the Wedding Report Inc., which tracks trends in the industry in US. But in our time, couples are more likely to haggle with wedding vendors. Others are buying wedding supplies from online discount merchants and other wholesalers. And couples are doing a lot more of the work themselves, with the help of family members and friends. But also found ways to save, including getting help from friends who did the wedding photography and makeup and helped design dress — all for free or at cost, as a wedding gift.
The whole notion of planning a low-cost wedding can be stressful. The economy might have a devastating effect on the type of wedding. According to society standards, weddings are supposed to be glamorous and expensive? But others say it doesn't have to be that way.
It's just wonderful – Russian Bride. :)
You can save a lot? Several thousand?
It's few Russian Bride - than many of their friends' weddings.
It would be — authentic, casual and relatively cheap. :cool::)

Today’s wedding proposal is part romantic gesture, part « clever stunt». ?!?!?:cool::rolleyes::becky::)

[Shadow-off]

ROTF :lol: I'm just joking with you here; Or you can go to the Courthouse and get married, have the clerk take the photos with your digital camera, go home make love and eat Pepperidge Farm cake you bought the day before for ; $200.00 :becky:

[love2009]

I know a couple – she is an American and he is a Russian. They first met 15 years ago in Russia and she fell in love like crazy… He was politely indifferent, as he was quite attractive and a lot of girls wanted to date him. But Jen never gave up – she was not pushy or anything of this kind, but she was always near, always friendly, an excellent cook, and she lost 10 kg, because she thought it was important for him. He invited her to go out, to spend vacation together, but she was always just one of them for him … in spite that I kicked his arse painfully trying to attract his attention to what he was missing because of his typical male blindness… One day he noticed that there was something about this girl what he could not find in his Russian beauties. So in almost 7 years they started living together and at the same time she was invited to work for the US Government in Washington, and he was invited to work for a big US company in Houston. So they actually separated again, and could see each other may be a couple of times per month… 5 years ago these guys finally married and started producing kids… Oh my God! I can not tell you how happy I was for Jen, as from my viewpoint she is the one who deserved this happiness. They have 2 kids now, he carries his Jen in hands, fulfills all her smallest and biggest desires and wishes, and she is really-really-really happy. He is very happy as well.
It is a Christmas story, but it is true!
PS. She is a very rare type of person - a classic dream of a man who wants to be loved. She always reminded me a Decabrist woman, if you know what it is...
One thing that jumped out at me was that she decided to loose 10 kilos (which is quite a bit) to be more attractive to him. You have no idea how American women let themselves go in the last 20 or so years since feminaziism raised it's ugly head. The numbers are already stacked against American men since from what I read there is 10 women for every 11 men in the age group of 20 to 40. But when you add the fact that probably half of these women are obese which (at least in my eyes) makes them completely unattractive physically, then you will appreciate why so American men are looking to Russia for love and marriage. The difference is staggering and you can see it right away if you travel from any American city to Russia or Ukraine. As soon as you land you see so many beautiful, in shape, feminine, well dressed women and it gets better once you get out of the aiport. But as soon as you land in any US city you'll be lucky to see just a couple of well dressed, attractive, feminie in shape women. Is it just me or has anyone who's done considerable amount of travelling between Russia/Ukraine and the USA noticed the same thing? I've also heard many different stats about the men to women ratio in Russia.
Does any one has a good idea what it really is?

[love2009]

ROTF :lol: I'm just joking with you here; Or you can go to the Courthouse and get married, have the clerk take the photos with your digital camera, go home make love and eat Pepperidge Farm cake you bought the day before for ; $200.00 :becky:
OR:
you can spend $50,000 on a wedding and honeymoon (as a friend of mine did) go spend the first week of your married life in a 5 star hotel in Rio and then catch your new wife talking with her lover on the phone telling him how much she's missing him...
By the way, before all of you start asking "how old was he? Probably an old fart?" etc.
Well this happened a few years back and he was 28 and she was 25.
So it's not really about how much money you spend on the wedding...you see?
just a thought:)

[belano4ka]

Sometimes I wonder why so much money spend on weddings? In order to satisfy friends and relatives or perhaps own ego (?) - it's simply impossible.
If you love someone you're just happy just be near him/her, and all this expenditure doesn't show the real love.

[krevedko]

OR:
you can spend $50,000 on a wedding and honeymoon (as a friend of mine did) go spend the first week of your married life in a 5 star hotel in Rio and then catch your new wife talking with her lover on the phone telling him how much she's missing him...
By the way, before all of you start asking "how old was he? Probably an old fart?" etc.
Well this happened a few years back and he was 28 and she was 25.
So it's not really about how much money you spend on the wedding...you see?
just a thought:)

3kkbTNmg40c

:becky::becky::becky:

[bobbyd]

Sometimes I wonder why so much money spend on weddings? In order to satisfy friends and relatives or perhaps own ego (?) - it's simply impossible.
If you love someone you're just happy just be near him/her, and all this expenditure doesn't show the real love.

agree 100 percent. better to spend that money on a vacation and a new home but...it is one special day.

[love2009]

Sometimes I wonder why so much money spend on weddings? In order to satisfy friends and relatives or perhaps own ego (?) - it's simply impossible.
If you love someone you're just happy just be near him/her, and all this expenditure doesn't show the real love.
your husband is a lucky man:yo:

[belano4ka]

your husband is a lucky man:yo:

:becky: I don't have a husband.

[love2009]

:becky: I don't have a husband.

Guys, are you blind??? Here is a beautiful and NICE young lady, who is also single!!! What are you waiting for?

[Madame_Bovary]

I wish I knew where to find that mail that brings men. Hey, where can I order a man around here? If the sultan has more wives why shouldn't I have more men? Can anybody help me?

[Madame_Bovary]

Guys, are you blind??? Here is a beautiful and NICE young lady, who is also single!!! What are you waiting for?

You can't be sure of anything around here. Look at me, I live in a book for God's sake!

[bobbyd]

Dear Mme Ovary,

I wish to make many beautiful babies with you. I will be a slave to your every wish

[Hoopy]

Guys, are you blind??? Here is a beautiful and NICE young lady, who is also single!!! What are you waiting for?Her sending us $2000 for tickets and visa :becky:

[Madame_Bovary]

Dear Mme Ovary,

I wish to make many beautiful babies with you. I will be a slave to your every wish

Are you sure you want this? Be careful what you wish for, because it may come true :becky:
(off the record: how many babies?)

[love2009]

I wish I knew where to find that mail that brings men. Hey, where can I order a man around here? If the sultan has more wives why shouldn't I have more men? Can anybody help me?how many men do you want?

[love2009]

Her sending us $2000 for tickets and visa :becky:Booooooooooooooooo Hoopy, shame on you!

[Madame_Bovary]

how many men do you want?

Well I'm still thinking, that's why I organised an auction. I will decide after.

[love2009]

Well I'm still thinking, that's why I organised an auction. I will decide after.what kind of an auction? more details please :)

[Madame_Bovary]

what kind of an auction? more details please :)

watch here
http://www.gogabber.com/showthread.php?t=2224

[love2009]

watch here
http://www.gogabber.com/showthread.php?t=2224ty, i did leave my 2cents worth on there ;-)