Neilikka
09-02-2008, 03:25 PM
The best surprise is the surprise which unfolds with time. Unfortunately that seldom happens - if it happens at all.
Not so long ago I had some problems with my health. Nothing serious, mind you, but it was bad enough that I couldn't get out of my place to by some food for my cats, not to mention me (though I am always on a diet, sometimes I need at least water). So I was lying in my bed alone since I had just broke up with my boyfriend, and I had no wish to call my new man-friend and ask for help since it seems that the "table tennis" game that occurs at the beginning of every new relationship does not take into account a woman who lacks the scent of perfume and is having a bad hair day.
So I started to look through the list of those people with whom I had passed the "table tennis" period a long time ago. To be 100 percent honest, I failed in my attempts. At the end of the story my dear cousin arrived to my place and took me to the supermarket. What is the moral? Self-sufficiency, of course, as well as the lack of it. What else? The pleasure that any self-sufficient woman can get from being sometimes just a woman.
I guess this has something to do with a woman's natural craving for gifts. On this subject, I can say with absolute certainty that nothing beats a stupid teddy bear, or maybe a diamond ring, plus a bit of his attention in real life. It is his attention that can make a diamond out of the teddy bear he bought for $10 in a supermarket checkout line. You can be polite, nice and funny, but the most important part starts later. It all starts in bed, of course (it also ends there). To make a good present you have to be sexy in a right way, which is not even being a good (active, passionate) lover, it is being the attentive lover. It is not in just physical contact, it is trying to please her first and then you can do anything you want. I mean, you can probably use a rope, but do it after you give her a rose.
As Michel Foucault wrote in The History of Sexuality, the concept of what activities and sensations are "sexual" is historically determined, and it is therefore part of a changing "discourse." The sexual meanings (meanings of the erotic dimension of human sexual experience), are social and cultural constructs, they are made subjective only after cultural and social mediation. Being the main force conditioning human relationship, sex is essentially political. In any social context, the construction of a "sexual universe" is fundamentally linked to the structures of power.
And power is not only force. It is also earning authority, which in the case of women and men can be won only by proving that you are that man.
When the teenage break-up-and-tears period of a woman's life is over, she steps into a serious relationship in which she can be anybody and do anything if she feels she is loved.
So, please, dear men, don't forget to gain some authority, which is obviously something that in a political (sexual) sense, is different from force. You don't have to raise our salaries. We will vote for the one who simply cares.
Anna Ozar
Not so long ago I had some problems with my health. Nothing serious, mind you, but it was bad enough that I couldn't get out of my place to by some food for my cats, not to mention me (though I am always on a diet, sometimes I need at least water). So I was lying in my bed alone since I had just broke up with my boyfriend, and I had no wish to call my new man-friend and ask for help since it seems that the "table tennis" game that occurs at the beginning of every new relationship does not take into account a woman who lacks the scent of perfume and is having a bad hair day.
So I started to look through the list of those people with whom I had passed the "table tennis" period a long time ago. To be 100 percent honest, I failed in my attempts. At the end of the story my dear cousin arrived to my place and took me to the supermarket. What is the moral? Self-sufficiency, of course, as well as the lack of it. What else? The pleasure that any self-sufficient woman can get from being sometimes just a woman.
I guess this has something to do with a woman's natural craving for gifts. On this subject, I can say with absolute certainty that nothing beats a stupid teddy bear, or maybe a diamond ring, plus a bit of his attention in real life. It is his attention that can make a diamond out of the teddy bear he bought for $10 in a supermarket checkout line. You can be polite, nice and funny, but the most important part starts later. It all starts in bed, of course (it also ends there). To make a good present you have to be sexy in a right way, which is not even being a good (active, passionate) lover, it is being the attentive lover. It is not in just physical contact, it is trying to please her first and then you can do anything you want. I mean, you can probably use a rope, but do it after you give her a rose.
As Michel Foucault wrote in The History of Sexuality, the concept of what activities and sensations are "sexual" is historically determined, and it is therefore part of a changing "discourse." The sexual meanings (meanings of the erotic dimension of human sexual experience), are social and cultural constructs, they are made subjective only after cultural and social mediation. Being the main force conditioning human relationship, sex is essentially political. In any social context, the construction of a "sexual universe" is fundamentally linked to the structures of power.
And power is not only force. It is also earning authority, which in the case of women and men can be won only by proving that you are that man.
When the teenage break-up-and-tears period of a woman's life is over, she steps into a serious relationship in which she can be anybody and do anything if she feels she is loved.
So, please, dear men, don't forget to gain some authority, which is obviously something that in a political (sexual) sense, is different from force. You don't have to raise our salaries. We will vote for the one who simply cares.
Anna Ozar