Neilikka
08-29-2008, 03:52 AM
You meet her. She's sexy and smart, and you enjoy her company whether you're in your favorite restaurant or on your favorite bed linen. She likes your dog as well as your car. You spend three perfect weeks (months, years) together. Then you get bored with her, or you find someone else, or you're afraid she will leave you - it doesn't matter. The thing that matters is the way you break up with her.
Men should understand the first rule of ending a relationship: never look like a bad guy. I'll remind you if you don't.
First, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling her it's over. Tell her everything face-to-face. Phone calls and e-mail are fine for small talk about the weather, but breaking up is something bigger.
It's natural to want as much distance as possible between you and her when you ruin her life (or give her her second wind), but in this case you are supposed to fight your instincts and fears, be a man and have the decency to say the words to her beautiful face. Then you'll probably feel guilty and a bit proud of yourself (you managed to tell her those words, "I don't love you." Wow! You're Superman!).
As a rule, men understand the abovementioned rules. They use them to feel better as they spend the rest of the evening watching football with their homies.
I want to make the situation clear now. You don't have to say anything face-to-face or in an e-mail or in SMS. Dear, if you're not the type of person who needs to see a woman's tears to feed his self-appraisal, here is my Top List of "How To Break Up" and make her feel better afterwards.
5. Both of you are sitting in a nice café (preferably in the one you met on the first date) and drinking wine. You're telling her how much you love her and how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she looks tonight. She's smiling happily as she's watching you wiping tears of happiness from your cheeks. Then you announce to her that your boss wants you to go to Somalia (for example) for 10 years - a branch office is going to be opened there, so the boss wants you to oversee the process. There is no way to cancel the journey, and you're not even sure about the conditions you're going to live in. Though there is a prospect of earning a lot of money, it's not going to happen immediately. The saddest aspect of the whole situation is the fact that you are not supposed to take her with you (now try to sob and hold her hand).
Tell her you'll let her know about all the details later when you're accommodated there, in Somalia. Tell her you know it's silly to ask her for patience, but if she tried to wait for you, you would be so happy...
If your girlfriend's brain is predisposed to anything besides MTV she'll understand everything: "What the hell am I doing here next to this stupid craven who's not even able to tell me the truth?" However, she will leave with conscious superiority, not an inferiority complex.
If your girlfriend is not that smart, you can still hope she's smart enough not to go to Somalia with you - who is still playing the sobbing idiot.
4. Tell her you slept with another woman - accidentally ("Do you remember that party at Tom's last month?") - and wait for the reaction. Even if your girlfriend loves you that much, she would probably simmer in this situation until you do something to make her forgive you...
But you won't do anything. So she's going to suffer sitting in city cafés together with her friends picking you to pieces. And that's ok - women like to suffer, it makes them feel like they are living amongst the pages of a Jane Austen novel, or some soap opera.
3. If it's ok for her to be with such an unfaithful guy, then tell her it's not ok for you. Tell her you can't live with this destructive feeling of guilt and you need to stop it because you don't want anybody to be hurt later. Even more so considering that that woman you slept with is, um, pregnant.
2. Find a handsome friend. Instruct him about your girlfriend's tastes in... anything. Take him and her to a party. Then start a conflict with your girlfriend, being as rude and appalling as possible. That's it. Leave.
1. Love her. I mean show her and tell her you love her. Don't control your emotions. The more you love a woman the less she likes you. This is often the best and the easiest way to end a relationship, though not if you really do love her.
By Anna Ozar
Men should understand the first rule of ending a relationship: never look like a bad guy. I'll remind you if you don't.
First, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling her it's over. Tell her everything face-to-face. Phone calls and e-mail are fine for small talk about the weather, but breaking up is something bigger.
It's natural to want as much distance as possible between you and her when you ruin her life (or give her her second wind), but in this case you are supposed to fight your instincts and fears, be a man and have the decency to say the words to her beautiful face. Then you'll probably feel guilty and a bit proud of yourself (you managed to tell her those words, "I don't love you." Wow! You're Superman!).
As a rule, men understand the abovementioned rules. They use them to feel better as they spend the rest of the evening watching football with their homies.
I want to make the situation clear now. You don't have to say anything face-to-face or in an e-mail or in SMS. Dear, if you're not the type of person who needs to see a woman's tears to feed his self-appraisal, here is my Top List of "How To Break Up" and make her feel better afterwards.
5. Both of you are sitting in a nice café (preferably in the one you met on the first date) and drinking wine. You're telling her how much you love her and how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she looks tonight. She's smiling happily as she's watching you wiping tears of happiness from your cheeks. Then you announce to her that your boss wants you to go to Somalia (for example) for 10 years - a branch office is going to be opened there, so the boss wants you to oversee the process. There is no way to cancel the journey, and you're not even sure about the conditions you're going to live in. Though there is a prospect of earning a lot of money, it's not going to happen immediately. The saddest aspect of the whole situation is the fact that you are not supposed to take her with you (now try to sob and hold her hand).
Tell her you'll let her know about all the details later when you're accommodated there, in Somalia. Tell her you know it's silly to ask her for patience, but if she tried to wait for you, you would be so happy...
If your girlfriend's brain is predisposed to anything besides MTV she'll understand everything: "What the hell am I doing here next to this stupid craven who's not even able to tell me the truth?" However, she will leave with conscious superiority, not an inferiority complex.
If your girlfriend is not that smart, you can still hope she's smart enough not to go to Somalia with you - who is still playing the sobbing idiot.
4. Tell her you slept with another woman - accidentally ("Do you remember that party at Tom's last month?") - and wait for the reaction. Even if your girlfriend loves you that much, she would probably simmer in this situation until you do something to make her forgive you...
But you won't do anything. So she's going to suffer sitting in city cafés together with her friends picking you to pieces. And that's ok - women like to suffer, it makes them feel like they are living amongst the pages of a Jane Austen novel, or some soap opera.
3. If it's ok for her to be with such an unfaithful guy, then tell her it's not ok for you. Tell her you can't live with this destructive feeling of guilt and you need to stop it because you don't want anybody to be hurt later. Even more so considering that that woman you slept with is, um, pregnant.
2. Find a handsome friend. Instruct him about your girlfriend's tastes in... anything. Take him and her to a party. Then start a conflict with your girlfriend, being as rude and appalling as possible. That's it. Leave.
1. Love her. I mean show her and tell her you love her. Don't control your emotions. The more you love a woman the less she likes you. This is often the best and the easiest way to end a relationship, though not if you really do love her.
By Anna Ozar